Will you knock and tell me it was all a dream? Please?

It feels so surreal.
I survived the tournament. I really did. *exhales*
It all ended the day before. And it hasn't sunk in yet.

Reality just blends in with hallucination.
Somehow, I wish to be there again. In the ring.
Feeling nothing but serene as calmness washes over me.
Sure, I was a jitter-bag full of jittery nerves as I sat waiting for my number to be called.

As you all know,I participated in two events.
Pattern and sparring.
I favour the first to the second.

For pattern you have to do it in front of six judges whose eyes are on you the whole time. Freaky.
After you complete the pattern of you're choice, they raise cards with numbers on them.
I did well here, scoring a few 5's and a 5.5. It meant I had a chance in the semi-finals cause the highest they give is 6.5.
The second pattern is a pattern of the judge's choice. This blew my chance to semi-finals.
Before the tournament, I just past my grading test and earned my red belt.
So I was suppose to enter the tournament as red tip not red, meaning a grade lower.
But my master entered me as red.
I wasn't familiar with the pattern for this grade so...
I did the beginning of the pattern and just stopped. Yes, you read right.
I just stopped. My mind went blank. I just stopped in the last pose.
Total embarrassment.
But I suddenly remembered and continue.
The judge who sat in the middle smiled encouragingly.
I got considerably low but I expected it.

I got ready for sparring. Wearing the protective gear.

As I sat waiting to be called, I glanced at my opponent’s face.

She had such a sweet face paired with a lovely smile. Just like a face of an angel.

Somehow it felt wrong sparring with her.

But looks can be deceiving.

And I was carrying faith on my shoulders.

I knew right then, I could do it.

I scored many points. Kicking and punching.

However, she couldn’t take it.

She tried to hold back her tears as it came pouring out.

But she had a fighting spirit and kept holding on.

As I was declared the winner for this round, I hugged her and said, “I’m sorry.”

This round, I won.

But what about the next?

I was in semi-finals now. I knew it was going to be harder.

Feeling out of breath, million of things ran through my mind.

But the only important thing was to breathe and to pray to God.

This time, my opponent was tougher. Plus, she was there to claim revenge for her friend.

Her kicks were harder. Her approach was more aggressive.

But it didn’t last. I fought back as hard.

Before we knew it, the ‘ting’ of the bell was heard. Indicating it was over.

In my head, I thought to myself. “You’ve lasted this far. But the road ends here now. Don’t be sad. Be proud for being here.”

As we bowed in respect to one another, I felt relief that it’s all over now.

But God had other plans for me.

As we stood side by side, the judge declared me the winner.

I couldn’t believe it. I really couldn’t!

I was flanked by a group of people.

In the moment, I felt like I was there, at the same time not. A hallucination.

My coach, Mr. Chong (a different Mr. Chong) said, “This is IT. You only have one more round to go. It’s all up to you.”

Yunne, the little girl who is my inspiration and derivation to go on sat beside me and gave me a huge large smile. Then she ran off. It meant so much to me.

I felt ready. I knew I was. No matter how this ended. I already felt like a winner.

A coward I felt like earlier, a coward I wasn’t now.

This round was tough. The key was to break her resistance cause I could see fear in her eyes.

Her kicks hurt me. Her punches stunned me.

She had a whole crowd cheering for her. I had my own personal cheer team.

Which only consisted of 4 girls rooting for me. However, it was much more meaningful.

She was persistent in attacking and cornered me out of the ring.

I was too tired to defend myself. I just stood there. My mind going blank.

Suddenly, all I heard was MOVE.

And I did, attacking her.

I could feel her defense dawning. I felt my confidence surging.

As the bell rang signaling the finality of it. I stood. Dazed.

Taking off my protective helmet, I turned to face my coach.

He gave me a reassuring smile.

I stood looking around but seeing nothing as my brain had lost it’s ability to register anything.

As the referee took both our hands, waiting for the judge to announce the winner,

the only sound I could hear was my breathing as I exhaled, inhaled and exhaled.

The beating of my hearts as it thumps, trying to catch up with my breath.

I could feel the crowd on their feet.

The referee held my hand up.

Everything went silent.

Like I suddenly lost my ability to hear.

As sudden as it was, the deafening roar of cheer echoing through the hall filled my ears. I was overjoyed. I hugged my opponent. And went to where I felt like I belong.

This....

is only a really very tiny, minute part of it.

The bigger part?

Don't bother asking.

I'm overwhelmed with cascading emotions to describe what I felt.

This to me, was the most valuable and precious gift I've received.

This to me, is worth more than anyone could ever afford.

I know this post is really long.
But it's for me to prove to myself that I'm not dreaming.
Other than a few bruises, swollen knuckles and an aching body, I'm fine.
Just really tired.
Can't wait for exams to be over.
I need sleep.

God was there with me and I know it.

Will be back. Soon.

P.S. Thanks for keeping me in you're prayers.
P.P.S. Thanks for being there for me.