If Only There Weren't If Onlys'

There's so much going on right now, I wish I could just simply pour it out right now and empty myself.
But it was never that easy.

I'm confused.
I'm tired.
I'm disappointed.

Somehow I knew things will turned out this way. Pessimist much, I know.
Guess the head knows what the heart doesn't or the heart just wasn't ready.

I don't know how long can this go on.
She's hurting so much in the inside.
And she's hiding it from everyone whom she loves.
Where is the shoulder to cry on when you need one?
Where are the comforting words to soften the blows?
I wish I knew.

One thing I know for sure is that St. John activities are taking up my weekends. Four to be exact.
Like Chris, I have 5 exams to take, 4 on the very same day and 3 assignments to complete.
With everything going on right now, I don't know how I'm going to find the time to study.
At least this keeps my mind from thinking about anything else.
A distraction.
Which is good, in a way.

This post will probably be gone the next day or it'll still be here as everything comes to and end.
Whether good or bad.

Till then.