Frosty Heart.

"We were meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are?"

This is here to reassure me.

Because I need it so badly.

It's actually happening again.

Just when I barely made it through the last round.

Wham! The same thing unfolds all over again.

"It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over."

I guess it contains truth after all.

I just need to put my faith in God for He has plans for me.

And I may find out or I may not.

But I just have to put my trust in Him.

Very Merry Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

To everyone and anyone,

Have a blessed Christmas and May God's light shine on you always. =D

P.S. Listen to more Christmas carols. =]

A Brush of You.

I felt like I needed to change the header.

So I did.

I took this picture months ago.

Yup, I know.

I have tons of pictures I've taken that's just laying there.

Anyways, this picture signifies a great deal to me.

There's a story behind it.

The picture is straight out of the camera.

All I did was add the quote and my watermark.

No edits or whatsoever.

I might not be satisfied with it but I'll decide later.

I was tied between this picture and the one as the header.

This went through a quick fix. Adjusted the exposure a little.

And added my watermark. Pretty much it.

And by the way, yesterday's post was written past 2 am.

Just had to let it out.

I might think of deleting it.

Till then.

P.S. I'm going to eat those cute little balls filled with gula Melaka tonight. Tong yuen. However you spell it. Around 7 hours to go.

It's late.

And my thoughts start drifting towards you subconsciously till I become fully aware that I'm thinking about you.
How did I end up in that train of thought?
It me only a few seconds to
answer myself.
Our conversations used to stretch long till this late.
And I will always go to bed wracking my head to a rebuttal to your statements.
Or to simply think of the philosophical thoughts you shared.
Then I would look forward to sharing mine with yours the following day.
And sometimes we would babysit the other when one had to stay up late to complete a task.

You help me through some very dark, angst ridden times. I can't deny that I'm totally out from it and I won't.
I was there for you when you were going through yours.
And I wanted to always be there for you no matter what.

But so much has changed over the course of years of friendship.
The stakes went way too high for us to even imagine.
We knew one another too personally.
And now distance has kept us far apart.
We can be terrified or angry and frustrated all we want but all those years of us being friends, sharing everything and nothing together, no one can take those memories away from us.

All I want to say out loud is that I miss you so much. It hurts. That's enough said.

Tonight I will sleep with a smile on my face as I think about you in my heart. Take care my dear friend. One day, we'll be back together creating chaos for one another.

[Snippets]

It's the season to be jolly. Wait! Scratch that. Sneezy.

Dinner won't be ruined for today. *Phew*

I'm going to be coughing and sniffling on the dentist chair tomorrow.

Sorry doc. :(

Seriously I don't know which is worse, the sniffling or the coughing.

Or the sneezing.

I rock! =p

[edit] I'm a little tipsy. Dinner was after all red wine chicken. I may have add too much wine.

Hic.

Who on earth gets hiccups past twelve in the midnight?
Wait, I already have the answer.

Me.

Mad body functions.

I'm going to be really sick soon.
My throat hurts so bad especially in the mornings when I just wake up.
And my olfactory senses are only half functioning since I sniffle like crazy.
And why do I feel like I'm burning up all the time?

[Snippets]

Whenever I don't know what to say.

To be honest with you, I don't have the words to make you feel better.

But I do have the arms to give you a hug,

Ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about,

And I have a heart;

A heart that's aching to see you smile again.

Just tell yourself that.

Because you will.

First day of VBS 2010.

During kindy class.

Kelly: The gravity on Earth is six times the gravity on the moon.
Jaden: But I can't see the gravity!
Karen (Jaden's mum): You can't see gravity honey.

This is one smart kid. He's only four years old and he's absolutely adorable. You can melt into a puddle by just looking at his eyes. It's blue in colour!! He'll grow up to be a heart-breaker. Trust me. XD

[Snippets]

Nerds rock!!

I'm high on sugar right now.
All thanks to Nerds Rope. :)

[Snippets]

Letting go,

Takes Love.

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish it within me.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and flourish for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
Remember: The time to love is short.
(author unknown)

Because sometimes, letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself and for the people you love and care about.
Letting go also means setting yourself free from the chains bound within.

Adapted from Smitten Kitten.

We'll meet again someday.

You have the most intense gaze ever.

And I can't say I mind.

Cause I know who/what you're staring at.

I've actually lost count of the times I've caught you staring.

And you just got bolder each time.

Who knew in less than 48 hours, something amazing and incomprehensible can blossom.

Maybe one day...

We'll never know.

Till then.

You just got to have faith.

P.S. I'm already missing it all. Especially 'that'. :)

P.P.S. I'm not sorry for using up your free time. =p

P.P.P.S. I know you're a bad dancer but you don't mind dancing in front of a crowd for a good cause. =D

P.P.P.P.S. I know what distracts you and makes you forget your moves. Hehe..

She's still here.

This year's theme.

Just this Thursday, Friday and Saturday was Vacation Bible School (VBS) 2010.

I think this was the first time I stayed till the very last day of VBS.

The past few years I had to go off quite early on Saturdays'.

But not this year.

This year was a little different from the past few years.

Solely cause we had to prepare all the materials ourselves.

So it was sort of up to us to teach what we want to based on the theme of the day.

And we rocked the second day. XD

I really enjoyed myself.

This was the first year I was at a station instead of taking care of a class.

I was Carmen's wingman. =]

We had a station called Wonderful Works.

To pretty much sum it all, I gained a plethora of knowledge just by teaching the kids.

Not only the kids learnt something new, so did I.

And I'm immensely pleased with that.

Here are a few videos you should watch.

Don't get a shock!

You don't want to be a bug.

Amazing.

Three days straight of helping out at VBS was awesome but also tiring.

After the first day, I already felt drained.

But it was worth it so no complaints there.

Just that the rehearsal for the regional review was bad timing since it was the day right after that.

Which might explain why I had two fainting spells during rehearsal.

I'll just pray that it won't happen again this Sunday on the actual day.

So this post is pretty much the longest post I posted during the school holidays.

Ain't proud of it.

But I just so happened to lost my blogging bug.

Too bad.

That's all for now.

Till then.

P.S. I can't wait to get my film roll developed. :)

One for one.

I got Mia hooked on Bones!!
I rock. XD

[Snippets]

Just Plain Mad.

I know he won't bother asking me for any favours today since he pissed me off thanks to his freaking humongous ego.

Thank God for the first part.

We'll wait and see if his skin is thick enough.

Only "you" can ruin a perfectly good mood.

So sucks to be you.

Just cause you despise your life doesn't mean you have to make others' around yours horrible.

Cause maybe I do like mine.

So get a life or better get a brain with common sense in it.

I know sounds like a bitter post but it's not.

I just had to let go of my frustration and pissed-offness.

I'm in a much better mood now.

=]

If you read from top to bottom, thank you for reading but you gained nothing.

So just continue on with your life.

And have a pleasant holiday.

THE END

You Got Me.

Can you move?

Only my lips.

Cheesy romantic movies.

Are so predictable.

But they're not mind-boggling.

You don't even have to understand to understand.

You just do.

I'm on a movie marathon.

Watching re-runs and movies from the past several years.

Movies I missed and movies I feel like watching all over again.

I'm so going to miss these times.

Wish you knew.

You know what I want you to be?
My best friend.
That's what I want the most.
That in five years time we'll still make fun of each other.
In ten years time, we'll still confide in each other.
And fifty years later, we'll still be together.
Cause that's what we both need and feverishly hope for.
A shoulder to lean on during the hardest time, the honest truth no matter how deep it hurts, the unexplainable bursts of laughter shared together and the silence cherished in the company of another.

Because of you, I held back to the final thread of my belief in a best friend.
The belief that I long abandoned 9 years back.
A belief that I had no faith in.
But it's because of you, I place my remaining trust, of what's left of it in the belief of a best friend.

The one and only relationship I pray with all my might is that we become the best of friends for the rest of our lives.

It might seem like a silly request or a pretentious wish to some but I mean it with all my heart.

[Snippets]

Fight Another Day.

Be very satisfied.

With what you have right now.

With everything.

Appreciate it all.

I know I do.

I've been ridiculously busy last week, right after the exams.

I didn't had time for myself.

Now, I'm free-spirited and living my life on high.

I plan to enjoy my holidays to the max.

In fact, I'm already doing it.

I survived the year.

I survived till this day.

Heck yea, I'm proud of it.

"When will our paths ever cross again?"

I often asked myself that very question.

I plan to post pictures from my camera taken throughout the year.

But I'll take my time doing it.

So do drop by once in a while to check on the pictures.

Till then.

Happy holidays peeps.

What a day.

We thought one cake wasn't enough since there were sixteen of us and the cake wasn't all that big.
Then, we decided to buy two cakes.
So how did we end up with 3 cakes instead?
One really large one and two average sized one.
In the end there were only 11 of us.
Now, everyone is full and bloated. Barely able to move.
Ironies of ironies.

[Snippets]

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room?

Fruit loops for breakfast. Yum.

Eaten at home and in the car.

I feel like a little kid going for a road trip.

Finals was over 4 days ago.

I'm 4 days late from updating.

Sorry, Steph. XD

I have perfectly good reasons.

Let's see..

Tuesday: Was relieved exams were over so I went to sleep fairly early. Besides, I stayed back for practice and went to KLCC straight after and went home at night. Crashed to bed right after.

Wednesday: Went for movies with mum. Then for tuiton. I was in a neurotic, obsessive compulsive mood that night. So I started sorting out, packing, tidying, boxing and dumping all my stuff. Did that till 1am plus. I always get into this mood after exams. I got rid of unwanted stuff. It felt nice sorting things out and boxing everything up.

Thursday: Went for a jog with Gwen and Van. Spent the remaining day with Van at 3 different places. Watched Vampire Diaries till late at night.

Friday: Had band practice for performance. Lazed around at home since I was too lazy to swim and had family dinner. I continued watching Vampire Diaries till late.

Today. Finally I reached today. It feels like I'm writing a report or something.

Anyway, today.

Got woken up early thanks to my sister and her 'wake-up call'.

Went out with my mum and aunt early in the morning to the market and then to PJ to purchase my storybooks. (smiling in glee)

Had movies with Gwen, Van and Rezal. (I think it's spelt wrongly) We had a blast people-spotting and laughed our asses off.

Currently, I'm updating for whoever is out there is reading. (If there is anybody reading in the first place.)

But now, I have a stack of books calling my name out loud.

Gotta go.

Till then.

Like farts.

P.S. If you're free next Saturday and want to spend a day out, text or call me. I have some plans but I need people to actually execute them. It's going to be fun and mind-blowing. =]

It just simply came flowing out.

I miss you very much.
I just want my friend back. That's all.
I miss having you around annoying me.
I want to hear all the silly, contrive stuff you faced in a day.
I need to listen to the mumble jumble advise you give that always manages to comfort me.
I wish you were there to hear me out.
I wish you were there when I wanted to share a joke with you cause I knew it would make you smile.
I wish you were there when I experienced an incident cause you'd be the one who'll get it.
I miss your company.

I simply miss you.

We don't say much in words, but the silence says so much about the unexpected friendship we formed throughout the years.

[Snippets]

Be Lifted High.

The way to a girl's heart?
It's simple actually.
A bar of Crunchie's.

Well, the first step anyway.
The rest is for you to figure it out yourself. XD

[Snippets]

"When you know God loves you, you won’t be desperate for the love from others."

My heart just did a 360 degrees turn when I read this statement.

P.S. The word 'love' is done by me. Tinkered about the software for a few minutes. I'm kind of satisfied with it.

Did you know?

You can actually use pretty much anything that you've learnt in school as a pick-up line.

Example: "(insert name), I want to be your boyfriend more than an electron wants to be attached to a proton."

Question to self: Ain't the number of protons the same as electrons? (flips reference book)

Well, that is just a classic example of how you can infuse Chemistry into cheesy stuff.

Another line that I've heard was,

"We should form a bond."

"Okay. What bond do you want? Ionic bond or covalent bond?"

I think the above conversation happened during cheer practice nearing mid-terms. ROFL.

This was what you told me.

You want to know the truth?

Well, here it is.

The truth is, I don’t know anymore.

I no longer do.

It's for you.

Stop messing with people's hearts.

Cause someday, karma will come along and get you.

Don't wait till that someday.

You don't want to know how it feels like.

So. Please. STOP.

Everybody should feel this good.

Peter's mash-up is awesome!!

It's a bit nostalgic but the build-up is perfect.

I can't get rid of the smile plastered on my face.

And I can't wait to start practice. =D

Here's a group of dancer's to check out. Jukebox Juniors.

They're street dancers aged between 9-13 years old.

In this video, the guy in the bright dark blue can really groove it.

These kids are amazing. Seriously.

Mad back-flip.

To dance and have a crew like them would be totally out of the world.

I know how it feels like being in a group, dancing together, feeling like a family, having a purpose. I miss that feeling.

We constantly pushed each other to strive harder. The sense of pride overwhelms us when we managed to achieve a certain goal.

And the feeling as though you belonged. That's what I missed most.

We cared for another, teased each other, cried in each others' arms and laughed so hard till our belly ached.

What I'd do to be at that right moment again.

The sense of nostalgia simply washes over me.

I know it won't be any use just recalling the past.

There's nothing I can do to return back or turn back time.

All I can do now is create new memories.

Which is exactly what I'm going to do.

I know I won't have any regrets once I start.

It's alright, it's alright.

Sometimes you got to lose,

till you win.

It's alright, it's alright.

It'll be alright again.

I'm okay.

It will be okay.

P.S. I should get Peter to make some mash-ups for me. XD

P.P.S. Why should we let go of the opportunity to be friends? I can't loose you. You mean so much to me. I need a friend in you. Let us just be friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

Falling for you.

It's like tossing your heart to see where it lands.

I guess it's just wishful thinking.
There are so many "what if's", so many variables, so many ways it could have turned out.

At times, I wish you knew.
Sometimes, I think you do.
Half of the time, I guess you're completely clueless.
But what am I to say then?

Cause I'm never brave enough.
Someday.
I might have the courage.
Someday.

[Snippets]

What a fine day.

Strawberry smoothies for breakfast. Yummy. I could live like that if I have to go through finals all over again.

Free by Zac Brown Band is on radio. Unbelievable. That's what I call music.

If only there was a radio station that played all the songs I like instead of just all the latest trashy music that only sounds like noise to me.
If only.

And I miss the rain. It feels like it's been ages since it rained. I miss the smell of rain. And the raindrops falling. And the pitter-patter it makes. I miss it all.

[Snippets]

Matchu.

I'm in love.

Absolutely head over heels.

This guy is just simply amazing.

I really love this guy.

He's no other than Matthew Koon.

The first time I saw him dance, I was moved to the heart.

There are no words that will do any justice to this guy's talent.

Here's the link. Matthew.

I can't count the number of times I watched the video.

It's spell-binding.

Seeing him dance make me regret not taking up ballet.

I've realized that one of the biggest regret of my life is not taking up ballet when I was young and continued with contemporary dance.

Now, it's too late.

But right now, I'm satisfied watching him dance. His semi-final dance is breath-taking.

Woozy.

How come the last day of exams (for the first phase anyway) doesn't feel like the last day of exam? It's just so weird. This feeling I'm experiencing.
Oh, wait.

Or maybe cause I have another test in about 17 hours and another one in about 90 hours give or take?

Figures.
Sucks balls really. I did not just say that.

I'm starting to turn into a nocturnal species. Well, at least I can add that I get much more peace and silence during the night. Things get much more spookier too.

P.S. There's always something to look forward too. You just have to open up your mind and heart to it.

[Snippets]

You snooze, you loose.

I think it was is a little too late for you to tell me now. A week ago might have really helped. Or make that two weeks ago.

This girl has some serious thinking to do. What if she stumbles? What if she falls?

P.S. I still can't fully grasp the fact that I found a friend in you. It was the last place I was expecting. This proves that you'll never know anything till you do.

P.P.S. Don't go making promises you that you know you can't keep right from the beginning. You are going to end up crushing a little girl's dream.

Chasing Pavements - Adele.

[Snippets]

Barely alive.

As I stared at her, I wondered aloud, "Who is that girl I'm strangely attached to?"
In my heart, I knew that I have known her for years but questions kept flooding my mind.
It can't be true. I don't know her.
Do I?
Everything about her is so familiar. She feels just like home, somewhere you know you'll be safe and somewhere you store your most treasured memories that fills up the empty crevices of a house.
But, at the same time, you feel distant. Like you just stepped into a stranger's house and you are feeling lost. The feeling that you get when you desperately yearn for home overwhelms you and stops you in your tracks.
This was what I felt when I stared at the girl, contemplating my thoughts.
Her features are distinctively etched in my mind, the way her hair has a mind of it's own curling through it's ends and the way she smiles, warming your ice-cold heart as you catch a glimpse of her.
I came to a conclusion that I know this girl. Deep down in my heart, I knew her, right from the beginning.
But now, right now, I no longer know her. I used to think I do but I doubt I really do.
I knew the girl I used to know. Now, I no longer know the girl I used to know.
We both look very alike with the same physical structure but we're not the same inside. We no longer are anymore.
We became two separate people. The past I-used-to-know-you and the present I-don't-know-you-anymore.

[Snippets]

Tidal Waves.

Do you know that feeling? When suddenly you're struck with the notion that there was something you were suppose to change or maybe do. But felt compelled to. And the feeling is repetitious as it unfolds and repeats itself over and over again. Till the lines become hazy and you're left totally gobsmacked as you're right where you once started all over again.

Do you?

This was the best I could describe of it.
This feeling has been lingering around me for days.
I've lived, breathed and felt it and now I want to be ridden of it. Desperately.

[Snippets]

Within yourself.

I knew there was something I wanted to say but then screw it. This was all I could remember from the talk/exchange we had.

She's not her right now and she needs time to figure out the whole mess.
But time is running out. And reality is just closing in on her.
She's left trembling with fear by the bleachers.
And the only person who can help her is herself. She needs to find her own strength to lift up herself once again.
It's all up to her now.

I'll end on a note feeling rather blue right now.

[Snippets]

Secret Crowds.

Talk about hilarious.

You know what I really love?

People giving me peace and calm when I'm reading.

I rarely get that when I'm NOT alone.

You know how hard it is refraining myself from smacking a person who comes along and disturbs me when I'm absorbed in my book? Especially when I'm reading the juicy bits or when I know something ginormous is going to happen.

It takes so much and I mean SO much willpower to stop myself from doing it.

If you see me absorbed in my own little world with a book grasped lovingly in my hands, then leave me be.

How hard is that?

It's really simple. Leave. Her. Alone. Till she's done with her reading that is.

***

The bittersweet feeling you get when you finally read;

The End.

***

P.S. I feel like I'm blog-spamming. You know, multi-posting post after another. Clicking 'publish post' right after I just did several minutes ago.

P.P.S. I don't think ginormous is a word. I just made that up. But you know what I mean.

[]

Because I chose to.

I've decided.

I'll give up on that fantasy. Was it even a fantasy? Asks self.

Cause I know it's not worth it.

Says who?

Says me.

Cause I'm the one who made the decision.

Although my judgement sucks at times, I know this time I made the right one.

I've realized.

I can't compete with her.

I don't want to.

I chose not to.

I won't.

So..

Thank you.

I'm the one who made that choice, I'll stick to it.

I like what you say.

That was exactly what I thought when the movie started. XD

So I said I wouldn't blog for quite some time but... I changed my mind.

Technically, this idea had been swirling around my head for quite some time.

Just that I didn't exactly carry on with it.

So NOW I am.

I am going to start posting snippets of my life.

What exactly are they?

I have absolutely no idea.

I think I'm just going to post something, anything that happens to be on my mind. Or simply an event or incident which is worth sharing or which I simply want to post.

It can be utter rubbish and blarney. Who cares?

Basically it comes down to Kelly will start posting a short paragraph, a sentence, a prose, a catchy line or a word whenever she feels like it out here.

Simple enough?

It better be.

And may I add, half the stuff I'm going to post will be incomprehensible.

Maybe cause I'm the one who going through the experience.

Or maybe cause it's simply how I think and process stuff in a certain manner.

Crazy, weird me.

Save it.

I've heard it a dozen times and more.

So that's it then. For now.

*Bleh*

She loves to bite her hair. She's real nice.

When she doesn't dislike you that is.

Which pretty much what she does half the time.

P.S. Saying out loud that I want to forget all about you wasn't that hard. Doing it was a total different matter. You still linger in my head.

P.P.S. The kid up there is totally adorable. I know right? And the picture was taken with my phone so the image quality kinda sucks. I didn't edit the picture. Just added my watermark on it so that people won't go claiming that it's theirs.

P.P.P.S. My title is actually a song. One that I like.

Wiping away tears of laughter.

Click to enlarge. It's hilarious.

Just had to share it. =D

There are still lots. Someday.

Maybe it's not too late.

Only ONE more week left to the 6 weeks milestone.

The past four weeks definitely felt way, way longer than that.

Is that a good thing? *shakes head, nods* *blurry face*

Posting here on Blogger feels weird, awkward-ish. Like a first date or something.
To think of it, that would just pollute the environment.If this blog were a book or say, a recording or a video footage, I would have probably burnt it to ashes by now.

I would have buried this blog ten foot below the ground if it were possible.

Maybe cause I'm so tempted to press the 'Delete blog' button right this instant.

If I did, would I regret it several seconds later?

I'm guessing I would.

Or I should just get a Tumblr and abandon Blogger.

Should I?

This just feels so peculiar, weird, bizarre, odd, queer, wacky, quaint?

I just repeated myself.

I'm just not used to typing random, quaint, indecipherable stuff out here (That's what I usually do) after such a long time of not updating.

There's so much to put out here but when I'm about to type a word out, suddenly, everything is gone.

Just like that.

One thing's for sure. This is absolutely not a comeback.

I don't see myself posting for the next several days or weeks, to be frank.

There's just too much going on or at times absolutely nothing going.

What's the whole point of that?

I have no idea. It just popped out and it made sense to me.

But if you're reading this, if anyone even is, drop by once in a while and see if I changed my mind.

You'll never know.

Till then.

How true.

P.S. I want to do the right thing now. But our definitions of right ain't the same.

P.S.S. Keep your promise D.

P.S.S.S. I still miss you at times. How could I not?

Totally random.

Oh, I just remembered an incident that occurred yesterday.

While my music teacher and I were listening to a CD I burnt, the topic Nick Jonas arose when one of his songs started playing.

My teacher said some things that went pretty much like this : pity that guy since everyone is trying to be like him. He should sue them or something.

It was pretty hilarious the way he said it.

But then it got me thinking. (Huh, this girl actually thinks. Yea I know right?)

So, it got me thinking that I actually prefer Joe Jonas over Nick Jonas.

Not cause he was THE Joe Jonas.

The main reason why I actually took interest in this, what should I call him? Artist? Disney superstar? Actor? Actress? Singer? Dude?

Fine, person, was cause he reminded me so much of a person I used to know.

The similarity is just too distinct.

The way he speaks, the way he carries himself, the way he simply is.

And whenever I see Joe Jonas act or speak on screen, I'm reminded of this person instead of the other way round.

I can vividly picture an image of some crazy-obsessed-Joe-Jonas fan screaming and shouting obscenities at me halfway across the world right now when they read the last sentence.

But it's true.

Won't deny that.

Whenever I distinctively forget about the existence of this person, Joe Jonas would somehow appear somewhere, on a magazine, in the papers, on my computer screen and remind me of this person. That he exists and is still here. Somewhere roaming on Earth but just that I forgot about him.

Totally annoying at times. It goes to show how crazy I am.

Not really. It just goes to show how much this person meant to me.

He was a really good friend. Full-stop. I'll stop there.

The rest is for me to know and for you NOT to know.

P.S. I just love the sound of the acoustics of an acoustic guitar. This is totally random.

Teach Me.

If an object weighing 8.75 ounces traveling ten thousand miles per hour strikes the earth, how big a hole does it create?

Answer: One exactly the size of my heart.

Being there.

LOOK!

Our own personal slogan.

SMURFS eat BANANAS!!

The girls came up with it during cheer clinic as a means to keep us all motivated towards our goal.

It's pretty hilarious if you knew what it means. =p

Don't forget to come support us tomorrow and the day after. =]

I thought I could fly, but why did I drown?

5 days to Spell-It-Right.

12 days to Cheer Nationals.

Do I have a right to freak out?

Hell, yeah!

I don't feel prepared.

I continue to have doubts bombarding my mind.

I'm scared.

And I just admitted that out loud.

The worst part is, I don't even know anymore.

Lately I've become my own self-absorbed enemy.

I just need to find a way out.

I have alot of great people around me. I just don't realize it. Till it's a little too late.

Toodles. Till I'm back.

P.S. I think I need a friend like you right now. We both just have to realize that.

Guys who cheer are sexy. =D

That's a statement. (Well, not all but most.) =p

I've been on hiatus for a month plus?

That seems unbelievably long in word but in reality it has past by in a flash.

Lately, so much has happened.

But I can't phrase them out in words.

And I've lost the interest in blogging.

It'll return. I'm sure.

Someday.

I owe several people pictures from last week.

I'll upload them somewhere when I'm done with them.

Right now, I'm too lazy.

The pictures are still stagnant in the camera.

***

500 Days of Summer. Its a great show.

***

One week has just whizzed by in a flash. It's sad really.

I want the holidays to last longer. Maybe a tad bit longer?

My holidays are all filled up unknowingly. Technically, I have not much free time to myself.

While talking to Chris, I told her I got injured during cheer camp.

Her reply and I directly quote from her, "Oh my god. You're so damaged."

It sounds really wrong. In many ways.

One of the many reasons why we're still friends. Lol.

Well, this not-intended-long-post turned out to be fairly long.

Just an observation to make.

All the testerone-fueled people are probably football-crazy by now, watching football, talking football, eating football.

Which got me thinking, I wont be talking to several peeps till the World Cup is over. Oh, boy.

I'm going to put out MIA flyers for them in about a weeks time.

Anyways, time to end.

Toodles.

Breathing Air Again.

by the amazing Natalie Kucken.

(Disclaimer: This image belongs to Natalie.)

I'm a worry-wart.

I admit that. I worry incessantly.

I don't even know why.

It's a natural instinct I guess.

Why did I bring that out of the blue?

The past few days, I've been doing exactly that.

Which is foolish.

But I did it.

I'm still doing it, actually.

Silly girl.

***

Take the time to be okay.

***

Yesterday, Q made me realize that I lost contact with 'that' particular group of friends.

Slowly we begin to drift apart.

As time passes by, we eventually became strangers right under our noses.

She made me realize how they, particularly the two of them, were there for me during my weakest moments and guided me back up.

Through it all, they never gave up on me though I was on the brink of giving up on myself.

I miss the banters, musings, late night chats and constant teasing we used to share.

D and I, I miss having you guys around.

Eventhough the three of us are all busy with our own lives, I do still recall the times we shared togehther and when that image slowly unravels, a smile will find its way onto my lips.

What more could I possibly ask for with friends like these?

I just hope, that, someday, one day, or during the next several days, we'll share a deeper friendship.

I'll be waiting for that day to come.

***

Why, oh why, on earth are the competitions and events scheldued all in a single month, overlapping one other?

Midterms are next month.

The first competition is next month.

The event I want to partake in is next month, coincidently on the same day as the competition.

And next month?

It's TOMORROW!!

Where, oh where, did the past few months go?

I believe they became dust particles and floated off into the air.

Unaware and descrete.

Silently making it's way to a place it's headed.

***

Take the time to think about someone else besides yourself.

***

You know, I have a feeling that we're going to be okay.

That I'm going to be okay.

I do feel inspired to pick up my camera and do a shoot.

It's not really planned out but that's the way I want it to be.

A sudden combustion of spontanity. It adds a special magical touch.

When the time comes, I'll procede with it.

***

Let that be enough.

***

I've consumed enough time here.

Expect another comeback in maybe several weeks?

It depends.

Toodles.

P.S. Robbie Seay Band. Soul-quenching music. If you know what I mean. I begin my day with his music and end my day with it.

"It might not be the prettiest thing you'll ever see but it's a new day."

After today, I felt like I had an alternative. All of a sudden, everything looked up.

It was refreshing.

And after a long while, I actually looked forward to the future. It's a long shot but I'll remain optimistic.

There are times where you just have to take things as they go.

Plans will always go array.

Nothing is ever set in stone till its done.

In the end, it's up to you to adapt.

To accept the truth. As much as you harbor feelings for it.

No matter what, just go on.

Don't bother thinking it's not worth it.

In the end, you'll know.

It is.

This friendship between us, it's unnaturally natural.

Somehow, me sitting beside you felt so easy. There was no need for the false pretense. We just had to be who we were.

It was that simple.

No words were needed to acknowledge the friendship we built over the long run.

For a moment in time, I thought we lost that. But it was a breath of fresh air when I discovered that it was still there. If not, stronger.

I so want this. Points.

Credits to Lexi.

I'm yearning for this book. *points up*

No way you'll get it here in Malaysia. *moans* *on the brink of tears*

It's simply amazing. I would bring it to bed every night and leave it by my night stand.

You'll catch a glimpse of me with a smile etched on my face every single night. Trust me.

If only I could get it.

Actually I do have some pictures which I took that I am rather fond of.

But I'm feeling rather the blues so you just have to wait for the day where there is a massasive upload. Don't hold your breath though.

I really hope I get in. *crosses fingers*

Toodles. You won't get another post from me till I-don't-know-when. Apparently, I'm waiting for the move to occur. Till then, I'm inconsistent.

If you knew crying doesn't help solve an issue, why do you still feel like breaking down into tears?

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Just when it seems that there is hope, it gets crushed. Again. And again.

I really want your comforting words to be true. I want them to come true.

P.S. Thanks for being there for me when I was down. It means a lot to me.

There are times when you just break down.

Somehow, I managed to program myself to expect so much out of myself when that day comes.

There are times when I feel like giving up because I can't live up to my OWN expectations.

That's the worst.

Cause it's me, myself setting the standards.

I really came up with so many amazing things.

I had all the scenes in my mind. Set out.

But at this rate I'm going?

I feel like I'm going no where.

Actually I do know that as a fact.

But my instincts tell me that I should continue and try to overcome this barrier.

You know what, I think I will.

I'll go with my instincts.

But it'll take time.

Plenty. In fact.

After all, it's a struggle within a struggle.

Something tells me that it will be worth it by the end of the day.

And I'll hold on to that belief as long as I can.

I find it ironic.

Now that I know what I want, it's a little too late.

The material goods that my heart yearns for.

But I also know that I have to earn them.

To make it all worth it.

So that I learn to appreciate them.

I just wish that the wait didn't have to be that long.

From Tumblr.

After today, I feel alive again.

Rejuvenated somehow.

I plan to hold on to this feeling of renewed hope.

As long as I'm able to.

Toodles.

P.S. After the last haircut, my hair's gotten all funky. I need another haircut.

Something of the fog.

credits to Colin H.

Just so you know, I think about you sometimes.

When my guard's down.

Just sometimes. Unconsciously.

It feels like the most natural thing to do.

I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing. I think it's the latter.

It's so easy conjuring your image.

A simple word or picture and snap, memories we've shared stream through my mind.

Took me that long to finally realize I've lost a really good friend.

***

I wish you'll stopped giving me those cryptic messages.

You said, "I'll know."

Well, I've racked my brain over and over again.

And I still don't know.

I wish I had the guts to tell you the truth.

I wish you had the guts to tell me the truth.

Is this just simply a game we're playing?

I've had enough of going round and round in circles.

I've just had enough.

I do find it amusing.

Just that day, I was walking.

Then a guy came up to me.

And we started talking.

He wasn't heading my direction but he followed me to continue our conversation.

Just as we were turning round a corner, we bumped into his friend.

A very straight-on, honest friend.

The friend took a look at me, grinned and said to him, "Stop hitting on her man, she's 3 years older than you!"

I was doubling over with laughter as I tried to contain it.

I walked off, leaving them to their bickering.

The End.

Lol.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that, that's the kind of friend you want to have alongside you.

Someone who's honest and dang-on-straight-forward to keep your feet and head on the ground.

One who wouldn't just lie to simply please you or to keep you happy for the next few several minutes before you head on to ruin your life. (Overdramatic? I know.)

It's one that gives you their opinions eventhough you won't like it but they have your best interests in their heart.

That's the one for keeps.

That girl's been straying from her path.

She feels lost.

She's uninspired.

She has a little further more to fall.

I've been peeved lately.

2 weeks in a row.

On the exact same day.

Thanks to some certain people whom I choose not to name.

And it's been getting on my nerves.

And I want it disposed.

Right away.

by Natalie Dee.

Most of my posts are out of the moment spurs.

Once the spur is gone, it's gone.

Toodles.

P.S. I wish we had every other week off from school or at least a week off once a month. I really need it.

Several days have come and gone.

I can go by days without the sight of my blog.

Back then, I wasn’t able to do that.

I always had posts just popping up in my head, literally begging me to boost up the computer and type away, or in other words, post away.

Well, the purpose of this post is that I would want to thank those who wished me on my birthday.It was really sweet of you guys to remember. Some of you have rather amusing ways of expressing your wishes. Anyhow, thank you for the text messages and posts. I slept with a smile etched on my face that night. =]

Its funny how I can think of so many matters to express and just fling them out but I never do. Somehow, I have no idea how, the thoughts and opinions vanish just as I am about to transfer them from thoughts to words. I find it highly frustrating but I’m getting there. Yup. Getting there. Who knows how long that will take.

That day, he reminded me, “ Don’t forget about your friend upstairs.”

Instantly, my thoughts directed to God.

Before I came back down to reality and realized he was talking about Accounts. Oh, boy.

My brain keeps giving myself excuses to not do something. My defenses are automatically up, siding with the not-so-reasonable choice, coming up with the same old, stupid excuse, “When I finally ………, I’ll do it.” Which is totally driving me off the edge. It’s really pathetic, the excuses I give myself. I just want that day to come now, not in 3 or 4 months time. I don’t know how long the date is going to be postponed but I just want it to happen. After all, it was suppose to be this month, last week in fact, until it got postponed. Again. When it comes, I hope that I won’t regret hoping for that day to come. The chances of me doing so are highly improbable in this case but I’ll never know. There’s bound to be pros and cons.

Speaking of, I should in bed now. Got to wake up at 6am on a Sunday. It’s inhumane, I know. At least, I’m contributing to something and someone won’t get flamed for it. I’m off to bed then. Oh, still eyeing that Macbook, dude. Still on it.

Toodles. Cookies before bedtime.

You should.

P.S. If you don't get any of what is posted, don't worry. I'm not very sure I fully either.