If Only There Weren't If Onlys'

There's so much going on right now, I wish I could just simply pour it out right now and empty myself.
But it was never that easy.

I'm confused.
I'm tired.
I'm disappointed.

Somehow I knew things will turned out this way. Pessimist much, I know.
Guess the head knows what the heart doesn't or the heart just wasn't ready.

I don't know how long can this go on.
She's hurting so much in the inside.
And she's hiding it from everyone whom she loves.
Where is the shoulder to cry on when you need one?
Where are the comforting words to soften the blows?
I wish I knew.

One thing I know for sure is that St. John activities are taking up my weekends. Four to be exact.
Like Chris, I have 5 exams to take, 4 on the very same day and 3 assignments to complete.
With everything going on right now, I don't know how I'm going to find the time to study.
At least this keeps my mind from thinking about anything else.
A distraction.
Which is good, in a way.

This post will probably be gone the next day or it'll still be here as everything comes to and end.
Whether good or bad.

Till then.

When It Comes.

I'm going to add this on my to-do-list before I turn, say adultish?

Drop water balloons from the highest floor.

[Possibly if there are walker bys and vehicles passing by.]

(Don't ask where the idea came from.)

Smiles to go with it. =]

P.S. It's weird, me being an aunt asking my niece on how she did on her UPSR exams. *pushes it to mum* *mum pushes it back*

P.P.S. I'm all smiles now. =] =] =] =] =] =] 6 smiles for smiles. You don't need a reason to be happy. You simply can.

P.P.P.S. Another late night today. That's 3 in a row. With extra dose of coffee.

Fireflies.

Today must be recorded down in history.

Our local station played Owl City on air today.

I'm stoked.

You should listen to Adam and his band.

It's like finally listening to music for the first time after years of silence.

Stop. Look. Stare.

I see a captivated penguin.
See the irony?

I'm currently immersed in music people hardly even heard of.
It feels really mind-blowing.
The feeling of it is unexplainable.
I might as well be in a whole new world and not notice it.
So I'm going to go along with making the CD's.
Prolly around 10 of them. *grinning*

Haven't had a photo with you in a while. xD

This is someone to watch out for.
She's such an amazing photographer.
One of the few who actually inspires me.
I'm glad I found her. =]

Note to self.
Never be in a conversation with 4 or more guys especially when they start forgetting that there is a girl in the same conversation.
There's only so much a girl should know.

Just a simple and short post for today.

Barely holding on. Still trying to.

Do I?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Everytime I think I see you or someone who resembles you or look-a-like, the question just pops in my mind.
I think I’m just afraid of the truth.

Part of me needs to seek it out, the other part refuses to even give a thought about it.

I don’t know. I really don’t.

You don’t need to find a reason to talk to me.

You can just simply talk.

I’m here. I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere.

Just talk. Be frank. Be sarcastic.

I’ll still be here.

We didn’t even say, “Goodbye” when we parted ways.

We always say, “Hi” but never “Bye”.

I did come up with an explanation for myself.

I'm holding on tightly to the hope that I’ll see you again.

There’s more to it than that.

But I’ll just keep it to myself.

I’m starting to read more and more each day.

Somehow, I stopped doing it a while ago.

Usually, I’ll finish a book in several hours in just a day.

But the past few weeks, I took several days just to finish one.

Why?

I can’t answer you either.

Today, something in me just snapped. It just did.

I had been reading several minutes ago, then I got in the car.

Staring out the window, looking at the raindrops as the outside world whizzes by.

It just came to me. Suddenly. Without any warning.

I realized this.

I’ve been moving further and further away from what I love doing.

Reading, writing, photography.

It just happened.

Slowly slipping away from my grasp.

It started with reading, then writing and lastly, taking pictures.

I just stopped doing them.

But today, after the realization settled in, something altered.

I can’t let them go.

Even if I wanted too.

It will always be part of my life.

No matter what.

And there will be no complaints there.

Not now, not ever.

I'm going to make someone a mixed CD.
I've always wanted someone to make me one.
The thought of it has been lingering in my mind.
Anyway, I'm going to make one for someone.
I'm just stating it for myself.
So that I won’t go against my own words.

This post is totally unexpected.

My fingers just starting typing out things on my mind, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I’m glad it happened.

I hope that it will again.

I'm ending my post with a picture. I read this quote somewhere.

I don't know what to think about this picture. But I doubt I like it.

P.S. CWK, this is not considered a post. Oh, and patience, dude. =p

P.P.S. The fonts are different. Blogger's fault. I'm leaving it that way though.

P.P.P.S. Today, you gave me inspiration to start over. As long as I believed in myself, I’m able to. You showed me that. Thank you so much.

Broken by Lifehouse.
This song is for L.

Just a comeback. Till she's gone again.

I haven't been blogging lately.
Don't blame me.
I have a life. And I live it. XD

These two pictures are an account for last week.
I may blog about it in another post but not today.
I'm feeling a tad uninspired now.

AAR Concert. =]

Homestay at Sg. Sireh.

Oh, and this picture is specially for Gwen and Eddie. =]
Make sure you thank me Gwen. =p

I didn't know taking a picture together was hard. *muffles laughter*

So, I'll prolly be back soon.
I'm never in the mood to blog these days.
And I want to start on my projects as soon as possible so they'll occupy most of my time.
Thankfully. =]

Till I'm back again.
Someday.

P.S. I've developed a love for running, jogging and simply walking in the rain. *smiles to self*