It's apparent that I've been gone for a really long while.
So much has changed in my life; yet, at the same time, nothing much has.
The last post I wrote was during my first semester since I've started ADP.
Now? It's already my spring break and I'm starting my third semester in 2 weeks time; completing my first year.
Much has happened since then.
At times, I don't recognize the person I've become; I gaze at the reflection and wonder, who is this person I'm staring at?
Familiar yet strangely foreign.
I'm proud of the little, small leaps of progress I've accomplished to grow but I'm also ashamed of the mistakes I've made and the people I've hurt. They said it's inevitable, but is it really?
My feelings? They're flighty at best. I don't trust them much at this particular moment.
I get so overwhelmed; consumed by them that I can hardly think reasonably at times. And at times like these, it gets really scary. It feels like I'm in my body but it's being controlled by someone else, like I'm merely a host; a shell for someone to reside in; a mere vessel.
These garbled feelings that reside within me? I can't make heads nor tails of it.
The question is, do I really want to know? Cause the truth might just very well kill me right in the heart.
I doubt I'll have the strength within me to bounce back to my cheerful, happy self again.
There is so much that needs to be poured out; released, I barely know where to even begin.
I guess it's best to take it out, begin the extraction process slowly; bit by bit.
So for now, it's till here I reside.
The final few words till I post again.
Soon. (a promise to myself)
May the path of recovery and self-discovery begins forth.
