Dangerously Close.

And it's a scary feeling.
And lately, it's been happening.

Shine Your Light On Us.

I'm completely immersed in music right today.
It just feels so good.

Today I have so many things to be grateful and thankful for.
But the one thing that stood out the most, the thing that I'm most grateful for is having a friend who trusts me and gave me a place in her life.
That, is what I'm most grateful and thankful for.
I'm just so glad, that I can be there for someone.
It mattered to me.
And that's all that matters.

Today was good and bad.
Well, it can't be perfect.
Nothing ever is.

I just want to thank those who have been there for me yesterday and today.
All the well-wishers and the comforters.
And also to the one who made me go all anxious and nervous just when I got myself straightened. (You know who you are.) That wasn't really helpful but at least we can laugh over it now.
The feeling's great having friends there for you.
There's always someone there for you. Through bittersweet times.

So it's Christmas already.
I just want to wish "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" to anyone who's reading this.

It's not everything that I hoped for.
But it's enough.
I know that God has been good to me.
Through all the good times and bad.
And that's more than enough for me.

So..for it's CHRISTMAS!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!, everyone.
Have a good one, no matter who are, no matter where you are, no matter how you feel.
Because you do matter. Even if you think you don't.
You do.

Here Goes Something.

I enjoyed myself today.
That's good, right?
I'm glad you're back. =]
I did not realize how much I missed you till your empty presence reminded me.
It's comforting having you around.


I'm glad picking Zombieland as the choice of movie did not turn out to be bad.
Overall, it was okay.
Throw in some zombies, swear words, romance and comedy, you'll get Zombieland.
It also helps to have CWK there beside you asking, "You scared ah?", when he already knows the answer and merely asks cause he ain't even the slightest bothered.
Although I'm a little surprised that the swear words weren't censored.
It gets really annoying when the character is talking and midway, brief silence, before words are audible again.
At least this did not occur during the movie.
Or should I add that it is a 18PL movie?
Oops.. That slipped out.
Added bonus, this movie was way better than Phobia 2.
At least I wont be having nightmares tonight.

An epiphany occurred to me today.
Epiphany's come in the weirdest form for me.
Like today.
Anyhow, I finally came to my senses that it was time to let go.
I already know it won't be easy. Geared up for it? Not at all.
It's just a known fact that is taking it's time to settle really slowly in my brain.
But I know that I have to let go.
I got to stop reliving the past and just deal with reality.
Just as Ida Scott Taylor once wrote, " Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."
That's living.

I'm slightly disappointed though that it took me that long to figure it out.
This quote came at the right time. It's time to move on.
Baby steps.
Finally dealing with it feels as though a burden has been lifted from my shoulders.
But there's still a long way to go. The hardest part has yet to come.
I just hope that I won't succumb to that darkness again.

Most of my posts are what you call 'wordy' and usually don't mean a thing to readers. (I did NOT just realize that.)
I won't apologize for it. Definitely not.
Partly cause no one forced you to read them. (If someone did, which I think is absurd, just tell them to read their own writing.)
And mainly, it's more for self-purpose.
Words comfort me. (Read my profile, you'll get an idea of what I mean.)
Just wanted to get that straight.

So..
Till I update again.
When I feel like it.

Whatever it is that makes you happy.

"When so many are lonely, as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish, to be lonely alone. - Tennessee Williams.

I like that quote. I simply do.

Though I'm content doing stuff alone, it never hurt to have company around.

I guess the thought of having someone there for you is rather comforting.

Do I dare call myself a loner? Maybe. Sometimes.

It doesn't hurt either. Especially on days when I just want to be alone with myself.

Several weeks ago, someone chanced upon my Ipod and listened to the songs that I was currently listening to.

The response that I got was, "Are all you're songs that depressing?"

That, got me thinking.

Yea, you could listen to my choice of music and put them under the genre, depressing.

But, the thing is, to me, my music isn't depressing. In fact, to me, it's the opposite. Really.

It actually comforts me. It tells me that its okay to be feel a little sad or scared or even alone and that I'm not the only one feeling that way. And that's part of being alive.

I don't know what that says about me because I find comfort in a little sadness.

Once in a while.

I doubt it makes me a morose person. I'm just comforted that way. That's all.

Now, here's a guy that's worth mentioning. Mike Bailey Gates.

Do you have the wish within you that someday you could meet a really famous superstar or a movie star that you admired or adored? When I was younger, I knew a lot of people who did. Back then, I didn't share the same enthusiasm of wanting that wish to be granted because I simply didn't have one.

Now, if I had the opportunity to meet and spend a day with someone, just for a day, it would be no superstar, it would simply be Mike.

Whenever I come across his pictures, I wouldn't be able to tear my eyes away from them.

When you stop and take a look at his pictures one by one and really see it for what it's worth, you're just left standing there in your tracks, speechless.

This thing, called talent, that he has, I wished I could steal from him. It's worth that much.

So, if you have a chance, click on him and give his pictures or what I would call masterpieces' a try.

And, if you don't get the same feeling as I have, it's okay.

Someday, someone will have that effect on you.

But if Mike's pictures failed to astound you, you're missing something great.

I just hope that one day, you'll find the person who will.

Cause so far only 3 people have made it up to my list.

3 special people whose talent is theirs to own.

3 astounding people whose pictures just takes my breath away.

I hope you'll find one yourself someday.

This picture ain't by me. I grabbed it off the Internet.

But it's meaningful to me. That's how I think you should perceive a picture.

By not just looking at it but seeing it for what it is.

This post is long. Sort of.

I guess it makes up for some things.

I didn't know I had so much within me. I just hadn't feel the urge to express it out.

Maybe I did today. A small part anyway.

Till then.

P.S. Spongebob Squarepants pasta looks really cute but taste awful. Make sure you got that noted.

P.S.S. If you read from top to bottom, without skipping a single line, congratulations, give yourself a pat in the back. Cause you deserve it. I know its really 'wordy' but hey, it's for me to read so you don't have to read if you don't want to.

This wasn't what it was suppose to be.

It's as if you never even exist...

You know, in the end, it's really up to yourself.
You can run. Run as far as your legs would take you.
But how far can you actually run before you start running away from yourself?
Somewhere along the way, you stop striving.
Somewhere along the way, you stop trying.
Somewhere along the way, you start dropping what you love doing. One by one.
Somewhere along the way, giving up becomes the best answer to everything.
Somewhere along the way, you shun everyone who loves and cares about you.
Somewhere along the way, nothing matters anymore, even living.

That's what it's like.

In the end, it's all up to you, yourself.

I don't know. Is this an update? Maybe.

Movies make me go HIGH!! Yup, happy high.

Does that even make sense? I don’t think so.

But I do know I need at least a dose daily.

Which, considering it’s the holidays, suits me perfectly.

Consider this an update.

Lol.

Let’s see…

The trip to Singapore was okay. I had fun.

Everything was really last minute. Got to get use to that.

I packed my bags on the day we left, several hours before departing.

Which was fairly simple since it was just a short trip.

Wished we extended the trip though.

Anyway, I took a lot of pictures but my computer’s memory is full so I need an external hard disk to store them and a person to come along with me to get one.

Considering I haven’t been talking to any of you guys lately.

I have my reasons.

You just don’t need to know.

[Since there so happens to be an empty space here, you can fill it with whatever running through you’re mind right now.]

Girl, we owe it both to ourselves to fix this.

This friendship that we have or we used to have, we can’t just simply let go of it.

At least, not this way.

Not till we’ve tried.

This post was suppose to be a happy, cheery one.

Looks it didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to be.

Which is fairly fine for me.

On a lighter note, Alvin, I finished the Christmas decorations.

Actually I finished it last week before leaving.

It ain’t great or anything.

Wished I done way better job but this was my first time handling it all by myself so it got to count for something right?

The photo will be up soon.

Thanks for you’re help and being there for me to hear me out. Especially since most of the rants are nonsensical.

I only realized them after I’ve done ranting.

So I must apologize if I used up your time.

You're a good friend to have.

And my Just Listen mixed CD is nearly done. Burning it as I type. That is something I kept my word to.

Some people have had an influence on me. They inspired me and moved me in so many ways. And I’m thankful and grateful for them. Even if they don’t realize that. I think that’s the whole point all along. And someday, I hope to have done what they did for me.

Someday.

This describes it ever so perfectly.

P.S. This post will not make sense to some and it will to others. Mostly, it won't.

P.P.S. CWK, I owe an outing with you. Sorry for ffk-ing you. I truly am.

P.P.P.S. Movie partner, you know who you are, I want a movie marathon. You up for it? Let the answer be yes. Please?