Dangerously Close.

And it's a scary feeling.
And lately, it's been happening.

Shine Your Light On Us.

I'm completely immersed in music right today.
It just feels so good.

Today I have so many things to be grateful and thankful for.
But the one thing that stood out the most, the thing that I'm most grateful for is having a friend who trusts me and gave me a place in her life.
That, is what I'm most grateful and thankful for.
I'm just so glad, that I can be there for someone.
It mattered to me.
And that's all that matters.

Today was good and bad.
Well, it can't be perfect.
Nothing ever is.

I just want to thank those who have been there for me yesterday and today.
All the well-wishers and the comforters.
And also to the one who made me go all anxious and nervous just when I got myself straightened. (You know who you are.) That wasn't really helpful but at least we can laugh over it now.
The feeling's great having friends there for you.
There's always someone there for you. Through bittersweet times.

So it's Christmas already.
I just want to wish "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" to anyone who's reading this.

It's not everything that I hoped for.
But it's enough.
I know that God has been good to me.
Through all the good times and bad.
And that's more than enough for me.

So..for it's CHRISTMAS!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!, everyone.
Have a good one, no matter who are, no matter where you are, no matter how you feel.
Because you do matter. Even if you think you don't.
You do.

Here Goes Something.

I enjoyed myself today.
That's good, right?
I'm glad you're back. =]
I did not realize how much I missed you till your empty presence reminded me.
It's comforting having you around.


I'm glad picking Zombieland as the choice of movie did not turn out to be bad.
Overall, it was okay.
Throw in some zombies, swear words, romance and comedy, you'll get Zombieland.
It also helps to have CWK there beside you asking, "You scared ah?", when he already knows the answer and merely asks cause he ain't even the slightest bothered.
Although I'm a little surprised that the swear words weren't censored.
It gets really annoying when the character is talking and midway, brief silence, before words are audible again.
At least this did not occur during the movie.
Or should I add that it is a 18PL movie?
Oops.. That slipped out.
Added bonus, this movie was way better than Phobia 2.
At least I wont be having nightmares tonight.

An epiphany occurred to me today.
Epiphany's come in the weirdest form for me.
Like today.
Anyhow, I finally came to my senses that it was time to let go.
I already know it won't be easy. Geared up for it? Not at all.
It's just a known fact that is taking it's time to settle really slowly in my brain.
But I know that I have to let go.
I got to stop reliving the past and just deal with reality.
Just as Ida Scott Taylor once wrote, " Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."
That's living.

I'm slightly disappointed though that it took me that long to figure it out.
This quote came at the right time. It's time to move on.
Baby steps.
Finally dealing with it feels as though a burden has been lifted from my shoulders.
But there's still a long way to go. The hardest part has yet to come.
I just hope that I won't succumb to that darkness again.

Most of my posts are what you call 'wordy' and usually don't mean a thing to readers. (I did NOT just realize that.)
I won't apologize for it. Definitely not.
Partly cause no one forced you to read them. (If someone did, which I think is absurd, just tell them to read their own writing.)
And mainly, it's more for self-purpose.
Words comfort me. (Read my profile, you'll get an idea of what I mean.)
Just wanted to get that straight.

So..
Till I update again.
When I feel like it.

Whatever it is that makes you happy.

"When so many are lonely, as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish, to be lonely alone. - Tennessee Williams.

I like that quote. I simply do.

Though I'm content doing stuff alone, it never hurt to have company around.

I guess the thought of having someone there for you is rather comforting.

Do I dare call myself a loner? Maybe. Sometimes.

It doesn't hurt either. Especially on days when I just want to be alone with myself.

Several weeks ago, someone chanced upon my Ipod and listened to the songs that I was currently listening to.

The response that I got was, "Are all you're songs that depressing?"

That, got me thinking.

Yea, you could listen to my choice of music and put them under the genre, depressing.

But, the thing is, to me, my music isn't depressing. In fact, to me, it's the opposite. Really.

It actually comforts me. It tells me that its okay to be feel a little sad or scared or even alone and that I'm not the only one feeling that way. And that's part of being alive.

I don't know what that says about me because I find comfort in a little sadness.

Once in a while.

I doubt it makes me a morose person. I'm just comforted that way. That's all.

Now, here's a guy that's worth mentioning. Mike Bailey Gates.

Do you have the wish within you that someday you could meet a really famous superstar or a movie star that you admired or adored? When I was younger, I knew a lot of people who did. Back then, I didn't share the same enthusiasm of wanting that wish to be granted because I simply didn't have one.

Now, if I had the opportunity to meet and spend a day with someone, just for a day, it would be no superstar, it would simply be Mike.

Whenever I come across his pictures, I wouldn't be able to tear my eyes away from them.

When you stop and take a look at his pictures one by one and really see it for what it's worth, you're just left standing there in your tracks, speechless.

This thing, called talent, that he has, I wished I could steal from him. It's worth that much.

So, if you have a chance, click on him and give his pictures or what I would call masterpieces' a try.

And, if you don't get the same feeling as I have, it's okay.

Someday, someone will have that effect on you.

But if Mike's pictures failed to astound you, you're missing something great.

I just hope that one day, you'll find the person who will.

Cause so far only 3 people have made it up to my list.

3 special people whose talent is theirs to own.

3 astounding people whose pictures just takes my breath away.

I hope you'll find one yourself someday.

This picture ain't by me. I grabbed it off the Internet.

But it's meaningful to me. That's how I think you should perceive a picture.

By not just looking at it but seeing it for what it is.

This post is long. Sort of.

I guess it makes up for some things.

I didn't know I had so much within me. I just hadn't feel the urge to express it out.

Maybe I did today. A small part anyway.

Till then.

P.S. Spongebob Squarepants pasta looks really cute but taste awful. Make sure you got that noted.

P.S.S. If you read from top to bottom, without skipping a single line, congratulations, give yourself a pat in the back. Cause you deserve it. I know its really 'wordy' but hey, it's for me to read so you don't have to read if you don't want to.

This wasn't what it was suppose to be.

It's as if you never even exist...

You know, in the end, it's really up to yourself.
You can run. Run as far as your legs would take you.
But how far can you actually run before you start running away from yourself?
Somewhere along the way, you stop striving.
Somewhere along the way, you stop trying.
Somewhere along the way, you start dropping what you love doing. One by one.
Somewhere along the way, giving up becomes the best answer to everything.
Somewhere along the way, you shun everyone who loves and cares about you.
Somewhere along the way, nothing matters anymore, even living.

That's what it's like.

In the end, it's all up to you, yourself.

I don't know. Is this an update? Maybe.

Movies make me go HIGH!! Yup, happy high.

Does that even make sense? I don’t think so.

But I do know I need at least a dose daily.

Which, considering it’s the holidays, suits me perfectly.

Consider this an update.

Lol.

Let’s see…

The trip to Singapore was okay. I had fun.

Everything was really last minute. Got to get use to that.

I packed my bags on the day we left, several hours before departing.

Which was fairly simple since it was just a short trip.

Wished we extended the trip though.

Anyway, I took a lot of pictures but my computer’s memory is full so I need an external hard disk to store them and a person to come along with me to get one.

Considering I haven’t been talking to any of you guys lately.

I have my reasons.

You just don’t need to know.

[Since there so happens to be an empty space here, you can fill it with whatever running through you’re mind right now.]

Girl, we owe it both to ourselves to fix this.

This friendship that we have or we used to have, we can’t just simply let go of it.

At least, not this way.

Not till we’ve tried.

This post was suppose to be a happy, cheery one.

Looks it didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to be.

Which is fairly fine for me.

On a lighter note, Alvin, I finished the Christmas decorations.

Actually I finished it last week before leaving.

It ain’t great or anything.

Wished I done way better job but this was my first time handling it all by myself so it got to count for something right?

The photo will be up soon.

Thanks for you’re help and being there for me to hear me out. Especially since most of the rants are nonsensical.

I only realized them after I’ve done ranting.

So I must apologize if I used up your time.

You're a good friend to have.

And my Just Listen mixed CD is nearly done. Burning it as I type. That is something I kept my word to.

Some people have had an influence on me. They inspired me and moved me in so many ways. And I’m thankful and grateful for them. Even if they don’t realize that. I think that’s the whole point all along. And someday, I hope to have done what they did for me.

Someday.

This describes it ever so perfectly.

P.S. This post will not make sense to some and it will to others. Mostly, it won't.

P.P.S. CWK, I owe an outing with you. Sorry for ffk-ing you. I truly am.

P.P.P.S. Movie partner, you know who you are, I want a movie marathon. You up for it? Let the answer be yes. Please?

If Only There Weren't If Onlys'

There's so much going on right now, I wish I could just simply pour it out right now and empty myself.
But it was never that easy.

I'm confused.
I'm tired.
I'm disappointed.

Somehow I knew things will turned out this way. Pessimist much, I know.
Guess the head knows what the heart doesn't or the heart just wasn't ready.

I don't know how long can this go on.
She's hurting so much in the inside.
And she's hiding it from everyone whom she loves.
Where is the shoulder to cry on when you need one?
Where are the comforting words to soften the blows?
I wish I knew.

One thing I know for sure is that St. John activities are taking up my weekends. Four to be exact.
Like Chris, I have 5 exams to take, 4 on the very same day and 3 assignments to complete.
With everything going on right now, I don't know how I'm going to find the time to study.
At least this keeps my mind from thinking about anything else.
A distraction.
Which is good, in a way.

This post will probably be gone the next day or it'll still be here as everything comes to and end.
Whether good or bad.

Till then.

When It Comes.

I'm going to add this on my to-do-list before I turn, say adultish?

Drop water balloons from the highest floor.

[Possibly if there are walker bys and vehicles passing by.]

(Don't ask where the idea came from.)

Smiles to go with it. =]

P.S. It's weird, me being an aunt asking my niece on how she did on her UPSR exams. *pushes it to mum* *mum pushes it back*

P.P.S. I'm all smiles now. =] =] =] =] =] =] 6 smiles for smiles. You don't need a reason to be happy. You simply can.

P.P.P.S. Another late night today. That's 3 in a row. With extra dose of coffee.

Fireflies.

Today must be recorded down in history.

Our local station played Owl City on air today.

I'm stoked.

You should listen to Adam and his band.

It's like finally listening to music for the first time after years of silence.

Stop. Look. Stare.

I see a captivated penguin.
See the irony?

I'm currently immersed in music people hardly even heard of.
It feels really mind-blowing.
The feeling of it is unexplainable.
I might as well be in a whole new world and not notice it.
So I'm going to go along with making the CD's.
Prolly around 10 of them. *grinning*

Haven't had a photo with you in a while. xD

This is someone to watch out for.
She's such an amazing photographer.
One of the few who actually inspires me.
I'm glad I found her. =]

Note to self.
Never be in a conversation with 4 or more guys especially when they start forgetting that there is a girl in the same conversation.
There's only so much a girl should know.

Just a simple and short post for today.

Barely holding on. Still trying to.

Do I?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Everytime I think I see you or someone who resembles you or look-a-like, the question just pops in my mind.
I think I’m just afraid of the truth.

Part of me needs to seek it out, the other part refuses to even give a thought about it.

I don’t know. I really don’t.

You don’t need to find a reason to talk to me.

You can just simply talk.

I’m here. I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere.

Just talk. Be frank. Be sarcastic.

I’ll still be here.

We didn’t even say, “Goodbye” when we parted ways.

We always say, “Hi” but never “Bye”.

I did come up with an explanation for myself.

I'm holding on tightly to the hope that I’ll see you again.

There’s more to it than that.

But I’ll just keep it to myself.

I’m starting to read more and more each day.

Somehow, I stopped doing it a while ago.

Usually, I’ll finish a book in several hours in just a day.

But the past few weeks, I took several days just to finish one.

Why?

I can’t answer you either.

Today, something in me just snapped. It just did.

I had been reading several minutes ago, then I got in the car.

Staring out the window, looking at the raindrops as the outside world whizzes by.

It just came to me. Suddenly. Without any warning.

I realized this.

I’ve been moving further and further away from what I love doing.

Reading, writing, photography.

It just happened.

Slowly slipping away from my grasp.

It started with reading, then writing and lastly, taking pictures.

I just stopped doing them.

But today, after the realization settled in, something altered.

I can’t let them go.

Even if I wanted too.

It will always be part of my life.

No matter what.

And there will be no complaints there.

Not now, not ever.

I'm going to make someone a mixed CD.
I've always wanted someone to make me one.
The thought of it has been lingering in my mind.
Anyway, I'm going to make one for someone.
I'm just stating it for myself.
So that I won’t go against my own words.

This post is totally unexpected.

My fingers just starting typing out things on my mind, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I’m glad it happened.

I hope that it will again.

I'm ending my post with a picture. I read this quote somewhere.

I don't know what to think about this picture. But I doubt I like it.

P.S. CWK, this is not considered a post. Oh, and patience, dude. =p

P.P.S. The fonts are different. Blogger's fault. I'm leaving it that way though.

P.P.P.S. Today, you gave me inspiration to start over. As long as I believed in myself, I’m able to. You showed me that. Thank you so much.

Broken by Lifehouse.
This song is for L.

Just a comeback. Till she's gone again.

I haven't been blogging lately.
Don't blame me.
I have a life. And I live it. XD

These two pictures are an account for last week.
I may blog about it in another post but not today.
I'm feeling a tad uninspired now.

AAR Concert. =]

Homestay at Sg. Sireh.

Oh, and this picture is specially for Gwen and Eddie. =]
Make sure you thank me Gwen. =p

I didn't know taking a picture together was hard. *muffles laughter*

So, I'll prolly be back soon.
I'm never in the mood to blog these days.
And I want to start on my projects as soon as possible so they'll occupy most of my time.
Thankfully. =]

Till I'm back again.
Someday.

P.S. I've developed a love for running, jogging and simply walking in the rain. *smiles to self*

Rainbow Veins.

I'm going MIA for 5 days.
Starting Sunday.
If you can't find me, you know why.
A break from all the drama is exactly what I need.
So it's not a surprise if I welcome it.
I might be running away, but how far can I run?

P.S. This picture was taken out of spontaneity. Out of the blue. After some tweaking, I finally came out with this. Currently I'm having a love-hate relationship with it. To me, it could have been better. If anyone asks, it's supposedly a pigeon. I love how many people are actually clueless to what my pictures are.

P.P.S. My photography has gone on a halt. Momentarily. Low in perseverance. Fueled of ideas though. But I'm getting comfortable with the burst of spontaneity. And the uncertainty and possibility of anything and everything that can occur in a photoshoot. [That is alot of 'ands'.]

P.P.P.S. I'm glad James Patterson continued his series. I'm going to finish Book 2 of The Protectors in the series of Maximum Ride today. And I can't get enough of it. Everything in the book gets me going. Fang's characteristics clearly resembles a guy I know but I still prefer the fictional Fang. =p

Tucked Safely.

The last post brought along a somber and depressing mood towards myself.
A few people came up with several scenarios that were totally absurd and mind-boggling.
I know the few who asked were just being concerned and all but I have nothing to tell you guys except that it's not what you think it is so just let it go.

I figured that out a little too late.
I wish I hadn't known the truth. The truth doesn't set you free.
Not all the time. Sometimes, it just binds you tighter.
As I regret to have seek for it, I'm glad I found out.
It made me tougher and built me up.
I needed that.
To experience the pain before succumbing to reality.
I was too high in the clouds.
It is time to be at the present. At the moment.
Living it.

I'm a very happy and satisfied kid today.
Eugene told me today that if I complain that my life sucks, he will come and find me. (You know what that means.)
That's cause I shouldn't be complaining at all.
Nope, I'm not. At all. Okay, maybe a teeny weeny little?

So I had three ice-creams today. THREE.
Yup. All within a short period of time. Busted my last record. And I'm proud of it.
Oh, and mum said I'm getting sarcastic these days.
I took that as a praise. I mean, how can you live without sarcasm?
It completes your life. For me, of course.

I'm pretty contend where I am.
So don't you go thinking I'm on anti-depressants or I'm planning a suicide note or something.
I may have been snapping and giving crude or snide remarks to some people. I deeply apologize for that. I didn't mean too. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time. My only explanation is that I had too many conflicts to handle and I was overwhelmed.
But I'm fine now. And it'll stay that way for some time.

P.S. I'm looking forward to Saturday. Part of it anyway. Some may know why. Others, well, if you don't just go on with your life.

P.P.S. The picture above is SOOC. No edits. Just my watermark and the header. I did several at one go but I'll post them when the time comes.

Jangles. Jingles.

I'm a bunch of nerves right now.
I've just sent them an email inquiring about that subject matter.
I really hope I receive a positive response from them, accepting me.
It would be an amazing, wonderful, learning experience which would be worthwhile and would last a lifetime.
Now all I can do is pray that God will lead me to the right path and I'll leave everything in His hands. It took alot of guts to finally send that email.
When I finally did, I keep having recurring flashes where I received a reply from them, rejecting it. This will definitely put me in a down mood for days.
It means so much to me.

P.S. The statement below is meant especially for "you".

There comes a time for me to forgive. But not now. I wish I really could forgive you but I would just be lying to myself. Give me time. There will come a time when I will finally be able too. And when that time comes, a heavy burden would be lifted from my shoulders.

P.P.S. I wish I hadn't known about it. Then, I would just be the ignorant, fooled, used girl, instead of the one who knows the truth but is hurting so much on the inside. You think you may know me but you've made a mistake. A great one I would say.

Prefects Hi-Tea.

I've had to play dress up three days in a row.
It can be exciting and exhilarating but it is also really tiring.
So I'm really spent, exhausted and exuberant in some ways.
I've also had many late nights including today.
But I promised Mia that I'll post the pictures so here goes nothing.

Just a note, the pictures I took aren't that good. I'm not really into event-taking pictures cause there are just too many variables and since I'm still a beginner, I'm still grasping the principals of many aspects.
So I must apologize beforehand if the pictures I took aren't up to standard.
If you want a clearer view of the pictures, just click on it, every Tom, Dick and Henry knows that.
Oh, and the picture that I'm in is clearly not taken by me so I want to thank whoever willingly took it for me. =]

These 6 pictures took more than an hour to load.

Bloody frustrating. I desperately need sleep so I won't wait any longer.

Be satisfied with these for the time being, folks.
That's all you'll get.
Bye.

P.S. The pictures are straight out of camera as I wasn't in the mood to edit them. If you want to use them or whatsoever, CREDIT me please. (except the last picture)

P.P.S. I might post more. Might. That's a possibility. Blogger takes so long just to upload one picture. It's ludicrous.

Temporary Setback.

This wasn't suppose to be my next post.
I had something completely different in my mind.
But this is okay I guess.
My next post will be about the prefect's hi-tea.
Hopefully.

I thought that I would blog regularly every single day after PMR.
Guess I was wrong after all.
My bad.
I have been doing the keep-everything-in-your-heart thing again.
When I feel the urge to express myself, I will.
But there will be a time for that.

P.S. The picture above is straight out of the camera, no edits or anything. I just added the title and my watermark. Do you know what it is? View it large, you'll love it.

P.P.S. I think I'm falling for you. For better or for worse, I don't know. I really don't.

Oh Lady Fortune...

I have a DATE!!

With 3 pretty girls tomorrow.

THREE!!

Can you believe it?

I'm laughing my ass off.
That made me sound like a guy who's desperate to go out on a date.
Anyhow, I can assure you I'm a girl who's very straight.
Whom has three companions to accompany her tomorrow.
On an outing for a mission. To hunt. For what? Think.
Gah, I read too much. And watch too much Bones.

This is an unofficial post post PMR.
Get it? Hope you did.
It means this is not counted as a post eventhough it is.
Don't ask why.
I have something planned up but due to some technicalities, it can't be done.
So.. see you when I do see you.

Ending this unofficial post with nothing.

Here. For a while. A little while. A long while.

2 more days left till it's over. Hallelujah.
Since I sit right in front facing the door, I have to stare at the words MERDEKA every single day.
Do you know how hard is that?
Those words are like pasted there mocking me every ticking second.
It takes so much inner will not to rip it right off.
But it feels so darn tempting.

I watched The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2 yesterday.
I sure wasn't disappointed with it.
Shakespeare has got a new meaning for me now.
Though the plot of the story didn't go the way the books are, it gives a different perspective to readers who have already read the book.
Technically, another take on the book.
Plus, the cute guys are an added bonus. *grins cheekily*
I can't get over that charming smile. =p

Some of the lines that caught my attention:

"I'm pretty sure I'm right where I belong.
According to..."

Why don't people talk like this anymore? It's just, we've gotten so lazy.
We don't say, "Oh, Lady Fortune, stand your auspicious. "
We say, "Dear God, help me."

You said archeology is more than finding bones and you were right.
People do have a power over us even after they are gone.
I tried to forget the past and ran away from the pain.
But the past is always with us and it's time I stop running.

She would like to do natural childbirth.
"What? Are you crazy?"

Not everyone you love is going to leave you.

Sometimes words fail.

There are many more catchy, meaningful lines but I better stop now.
Need to study and entertain my thoughts and fantasies.
Ciao.

Stop. Take a deep breath. Continue your pursuit.

I like having you around. The presence of you just there comforts everyone in the room, especially me. It's like you carry a bag of sunshine around your shoulders, tucked safely in a knapsack.

I found this while browsing around. Man, this is hilarious and contains so much truth. Made me feel much better and worse at the same time. Can't blame myself.

The time is drawing closer and closer to D-Day.
I don't feel prepared at all but I just want to get it done and over with.
Reading Chris's post, I realized that I miss my classroom too.
The spectacular view I had of the trees just as I turned to my right.
I can just get lost in them, traveling miles away.
I particularly loved rainy days in school especially in class.
The atmosphere, the smell of wet grass and the raindrops falling precariously on the window.
It's one of those days.
Seriously I doubt we'll ever go back to class again.
There goes my hopes. Dashed.

There's so many thoughts I want to pour out but then I think to myself.
I'll just keep it all in here.
Safe, in my comfy, expanding pocket heart.
Till it expands and expands.
And finally unable to bear the weight anymore, it'll just self-combust.
Taking along a piece of me with it.

I don't know what else to do this week.
What I should be doing is studying but I want to do anything but that.
Doesn't look like I have a choice anyway.

He said, "It's up to you."
Me, I thought short and hard. Replying," If it's up to me, I wouldn't be here, doing what I dislike, instead pursuing what I feel is right for me, what I'm passionate about. Even if it turns out to be the wrong choice, I would naught have any regret in the world cause I chose it. But what about you?

What would you do? "

That's enough for today.
I'm going to watch raindrops falling from the sky.
And breathe in the wonderful scent it brings.
Till then.

P.S. My cbox is cranky. That goes for the many posts. It's fun though, seeing it go array.

Sense.

How very true.

Credits to Cody. Whose masterpieces major in paintings and drawings. =]

Mum's always the best! No matter what.
And today was one of the many examples of her being so. =]

I can't wait to get my hands on grandpa's camera. *smiles in glee*
It's going to be a real hands-on project.
Just got to survive these few torturous weeks.

Today wasn't really a good day.
I liked it better at home.
Where I can cuddle up in my bed and daydream.
While holding on tight to my insights, dreams and ambitions.
All the while gulping my homemade drink.
Somehow, I'm grateful for the holidays.

From now till PMR, I'm just going to drop by here to post some short posts.
It helps in taking my mind off the serious stuff and just focus on the mundane ones.

Bye.

P.S. Suddenly I realized that I missed having you around. Telling me nonchalantly about absolutely nothing and everything. I think I can finally admit it. I miss having you as a friend. You were always there for me. And as much as I want to have you back, I can't turn back the time but I can only change the present, that is for us to be friends together again, laughing at all the lame, nonsensical day-goings. Lets be friends again. Can we?

A little much needed help.

You used to say this to me and I'll just shrug it off.
Now, I need you to say it to me once again.

I miss late night movies.
I always wondered why local stations air their movies way early in the morning, say 1am?
These were times when I stubbornly fought with sleep just to keep myself awake.
Even when the movies were extremely cheesy and cliche, I would still watch them.
Who cares that it was released several years back then?
I felt carefree, unattached and unburdened.
For the first time, in many months, I stayed up late till past 3 just to do so again.
And it felt good, for once.

Taken during the mid-term break.
I miss the really straight-ruler-cut hair.

Oh, the stuff I'm going to do after 4 weeks. I figured less.
If you think I'm getting loony now, which I believe I am, it'll be worse then.
And I'm so looking forward to that.

Bye.

And Mr. Pornstar, pigs have wings. In my dreams. Of course they do. *grins widely*

P.S. Yesterday was a great start, let's hope that it lasts.

I don't know anymore.

I just want it all to pass by in a flash.
Only to look back and regret it.
It's getting unbearable.
I don't know how I manage to do it once.
But all I know now is that, I doubt I can repeat it.
The willpower. Crap.
I wish I was full of it.
Then I'll stop having arguments with myself on what I want to do and what I should BE doing.

I feel so tired and drained to the bone.
Going on seems to be a tunnel stretching across the Atlantic Ocean and all I see is darkness surrounding me.
Where's the ray of sunbeam when you need it?

I don't know if I can trust you.
You're telling me otherwise.
I don't need someone like you to dwell on.
No thanks. It's all a mistake.

"We're growing carelessly apart"

But has it ever occur to you to sew back the seams?

I'm suppose to be revising and studying but don't ask me how I end up in front of the computer.
If anyone asks, just tell them the computer read my mind and typed everything out in Kelly's blog.

Till pigs grow wings and soar across the sky,
Till she finally realize her mistake,
Till he finally sees her for who she really is,
Till I see you again.
Bye.

To be back. And gone again.

Wow. I haven't updated since July. That's pretty long.

So much have happened since then.

And everything that I've went through feels like a blur to me.

A big, black hole simply waiting for me to fill it up.

I guess you must have notice my header. I decided it was time for a change.

There are only a few minor adjustments to the original picture I taken.

I didn't change much as I like the nostalgia feeling it potrays.

I've always had a fascination towards snowglobes. I don't really know why.

Somehow, my thoughts drift far away when I hold one in my hand.

To me, the snowglobe represents the childhood memories, the hope we grasped so tightly in our hands and the disappointment springing up on us as we slowly grow up.

Gradually, we begin to loose our passion for day-dreaming, for reaching for the stars and pursuing our dreams.

We begin to think as that they're just a bunch of useless thoughts and unachievable.

But whenever I hold a snowglobe in my hand, my world plunges into a whole new dimension.

I can dream again.

Today, Chris who is addicted to Reader's Digest now brought one to school. While flipping through the pages, I saw this. I found it so hilarious. This was what the teacher told the students during an exam.

"You may look up for inspiration, down in desperation but not to the side for information. "

I chanced upon this website one day. It completely blew my mind.

SHE's simply amazing. A young girl, brimming full of talent.

I wish I could meet her and have the opportunity to talk to her and have an insight of what's going through her head and tell her face to face that she's one of my biggest inspiration.

"Somedays I wish you were still here for me.

To hear me out, comfort me and tell me that everything will be okay."

Where's the friend when you need one?

I wish so very dearly that you'll still be there for me.

I guess the only blame would be me, as it was mainly my fault we drifted apart.

How I wish that to change very much. I don't know if its too late.

I only know I'm too afraid to loose another close friend. Again.

This is specially for Sara. I promised you I'll upload a picture of my dog, here it is.

Presenting Bowie.

(Weird name, I know but I didn't name her.)

I didn't have time to edit the picture so bear with this underexposed picture.

She's afraid of cameras and runs whenever she sees a camera in sight.

Oh, and Vick's terribly frightened of her. *giggles*

I'll tell you more about Bowie another time.

I'm talking in transitions again. But I don't really mind it now.

If you don't understand what I've written, then it's no use trying. Leave it the way it is.

I won't know when I'll be updating again but check in here once in a while. I may have updated.

Ciao.

P.S. I can finally text message again. *smiling in glee* No more putting people off now. *Phew*

Just an Update.

This arrived last Saturday. It made my day.=]

[Mind the messy table]

These are the images I wanted to upload ages ago.
They were taken during the last holidays which were ages ago.
Man, I miss the holidays.

Want to know the recipe?


I love the focus on the red shirt. =3

All centered towards the middle.

I took the pictures above as I was waiting for these two lovebirds who were doing God-knows-what in the changing room.

*None of the pictures above are edited. Due to time constrictions.
*I took lots of pictures but Blogger is taking extremely long to upload them.

I can't wait to go into the woods with my camera.
I'm inspired. By so many people and I have several ideas to try.
PMR, please be over. Pretty please with cinnamon and big, juicy strawberries on top?
I have so many things I want to do but I feel restricted by this.
Everything is after PMR.
In my head, hey, I can try this. After PMR.
Hey, I can do this. After PMR.
This looks interesting, go check it out. Right, after PMR.
Everything revolves around it.
Damn frustrating.

I just realized yesterday how terrible my English has become. I miss my English Teacher.
The fact that my English has deteriorate just struck me hard in the guts. I felt so down.

I can't wait for the trip to Malacca. I can't remember the last time I went. Probably when I was still really young. The memories are really vague. Often occurring in flickers.

I can't do bokeh. =[
I need to take more shots. Grr...

Till I upload again. Bye.

"Guys from Kazakhstan aren't bad looking."

And one of them smells like mint. *giggles*
It's true. I have photo's of them. (Not of them smelling like mint, silly, photo's of Kazakhstan boy's with me in the picture.)

*Ignore the fuzzy pictures and my squinty eyes. They were taken with a camera phone. And I'm sleep deprived.

Part of the Kazakhstan team. With my master, Yunne and a South Africa guy.

Kazakhstan.

Kazakhstan. He's the shyest among his friends but keeps giving me funny looks.

She's really awesome. Gold in sparring. Fights like a maiden warrior and sings like an angel. During the closing ceremony at night, she sang in front of everyone. Magical.

I can't remember which country but tough people.

South Africa

Ange is crazy over big, strong, muscular guys. She saw one playing with nun chucks and immediately swoon over him.

This is the guy that I mentioned about. Look at his muscles.

Today is the last day of the tournament. 17 countries participated. Included Malaysia.
Among the many few I remember is Canada, Scotland (I saw their kilt and macho guys in their traditional costume! Imagine a strong, tough man wearing skirt. Completely blows you're mind), Alaska, USA, Germany, South Africa, Pour ta De Asiago, and Kazakhstan.
I can't remember the others.

As I recall, while the judges were comparing heights for the 15-17 category, I was placed in the 'short' category.
Mum's exact words, "You looked so small among them!" she exclaimed to me when I got home.
Well, I felt small. Standing among everyone.
But being short has its benefits. One of the main reasons I got to win. Never underestimate shortness.

By the way, I just deleted my Friendster account. Got frustrated with the junk they keep sending. Laying off these social networks. For now.

I just got the email! It's going to arrive within 24 hours. So it's either today or tomorrow.
I can't wait for the package to arrive. Vick says I'm crazy saving up for it but that's her and this is me.

Oh, Nash, you are so wrong. I can't believe you said that. How did you even think of it is beyond me. Go and be all mushy and lovey dovey with you're girlfriend and leave me alone. Hmp.

It's late. I'm tired. Someone's in for a surprise later.
And I plan to be there. Got to sleep.
I'm talking in transitions again. Crap.

Till time brings us together again.
Ending it here.

P.S. The guy that smells like mint isn't in the picture above. =]