I felt like I was hit hard in the stomach, all wind blown out within me.
The news that you were in the hospital, lying in the ICU.
That you just had been through a major surgery.
That you weren’t awake.
I was lost for words.
I still am.
It was the last thing I was expecting.
It was never in my mind for it never even occurred to me.
I knew we weren’t the best of friends.
But we enjoyed and flourished in the company of one another.
Paving through the hard and fulfilling times together.
We hadn’t much in common but we made great conversations together.
It was just too much for me.
I was already having a bad week, with so much conflicts and misunderstandings and arguments going on simultaneously.
The news of you just topped everything there was.
If I were a dam, my walls would have broke due to the pressure.
Gallons of water would have overflown out into the dry, dying, shriveled field.
I would have flood the entire area, causing great destruction.
Suddenly I felt so tiny and minuscule, almost insignificant.
Just a speck of dust on the face of Earth.
My problems don’t matter anymore.
Because I had the chance, the opportunity, the ability to mull over them, figure them out and solve them.
You don’t.
Not from where you are right now.
I wished with all my might that I had the power to do something, to make it all better.
But I don’t.
So here I am, left helpless.
The only gift I’m able to give is a prayer from my heart to Him.
That you will wake up and be okay.
Cause deep down in my heart, I know that you will be.
I believe that you will.
Through this misfortune, I linger in the thoughts that everything that happened was a ruse, trying to teach me a great lesson.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
We were both part of God’s plans.
We all are.
I had a brief, short glimpse of what it was.
How he combined all the tragical, painful events in our lives, intervening it together.
I was on the verge of a breakdown.
But now, I know that I’m strong enough to pick myself back up again.
Instead of tripping and staying on the ground, licking my wounds and looking at the view from below.
I’m only able to give you the gift of prayer.
But everyone else is there to support and be there for you.
So will I be when you awake.
So hang in there.
You’ll be okay.
And Q, if you’re reading this, stay strong.
I know you can.
Just don’t give up hope.
And know that I believe in you.
For you'll get through this.
Just cause we're not in each others thoughts, doesn't mean we don't care for one another.
I just had to get this out. Now that it's out in the wind, I'll end here.
