Rush of flurriness.

It's been ages since I last blogged.
Lots have happened. A mixture of good and bad.
I know I've been keeping lots of unhappy things in me.
I can't find a vent to vent it all out. How long will this last?

Last Saturday, I went for a performance at Putrajaya with my team. Slept late the day before and woke up freaking early the next day. It was a school day and there wasn't a single person to be seen except Lai Hoong and Virgine. We were like walking zombies anyway. Walking without a direction, eyes half-opened, our hairs in a mess (especially Virginie, it looked like she just got out of bed!)
We shared the same bus with SBU. Seriously, the cheerleaders from SBU are super-duper energetic. Throughout the journey to Putrajaya, they made noise 24/7. Looks like I needn't need my Ipod after all. With live singers right behind me.

The performance was pretty okay, the crowd was sort of a bore to be honest. And the guys are perverts. I didn't say that out of pleasure, we heard them snickering and saying some stuff with our own ears.Oh, well... thank goodness we wore tights.
We were the last to perform. There were 5 cheerleading teams. Dynamitez, Unggul, Pirates, Shirtliff and SouthAnchorz.
The stage was really small so we had to reduce the stunts. And keep colliding with one another.

We went home early since the place was boring. There was no shopping mall in sight.
The building that I first saw when I step foot on the area was Bangunan Jabatan Alam Sekitar. Could you just say awesome?
We were schedule to go home at 2pm but after some adamant and persisting complains, we managed to leave around 11 something. We reached school before it ended. Near noon so I went back to class. And Aina called me a NERD for that. I took that as a compliment though. *brawls with laughter*

After school. Credits to Sean.

Sean. =]

San.

On Sunday, I went for taekwondo. I haven't been for taekwondo for months.
I've gone really rusty. I forgot my patterns and my kickings' are absolutely horrible.
I can't believe my master remembered me! He called me on Friday and said that there was some sort of shooting. There were people from Astro who came.
It was a great experience though I was all jittery since there were so many black belts.
While I did my pattern with three other girls, everyone stared at us. And I sparred with my master's daughter. She's actually afraid of me. I think its cause I'm the only one there who doesn't listen to her. Can't blame me for it..

Anyway, if you want to catch the taekwondo demonstration on Astro, you can watch channel 304 (I have no idea what channel this is) on 08.08.08. It will be at 9pm. The tittle of the show is Merry-Go-Round. *laughs to self*
08.08.08 is the grand opening of the Olympics so Ta-da. No one's going to watching anything that hasn't got anything to do with the Olympics. Perfect timing.
Since I have no Astro, I won't be watching it. Even if I do, I would rather catch the Olympics. I'm sure anyone in their right mind would.

I have lots to blog about but I think it's best if I didn't.
I just realized it, most people blog about emo-ish stuff while I do the opposite. If you actually notice. It's unhealthy but I can't find the words to write the emo-ish stuff out.
To me, it's as though I'm pasting a very LARGE sign that says, " Beware! Emo posts are up. Super boring! So don't bother reading. "
Doesn't matter though. I don't know how boring this blog can get.
Someday, just someday, I'm going to find the urge to delete this blog with the click of a mouse.
Just wait. You'll know when it happens.

Nights. The lights flickers off. Kelly trips and fell. Opps...
Nothing hurt except her ego. Lol.

Till more performances, shootings, cam-whorings, walking zombies and vents.

~ Signing off.

Added bonus.

It's been like two weeks since cheer competition has past but I'll post the remaining pictures I have with me. It was all taken by Gwen's camera so credits to her. =]

Jien

The judges.

Micheal or something. One of the judges too. Gwen said she shouldn't have taken this picture. Lols.

Chi Wei. One of my coaches too.

A hug for her.

Mr Chong, our gym coach who cracks crazy jokes.

I was forced by Gwen to take this pictures. She made me. Blame her. *innocent face*

Life's been hectic now, as Eugene said. Well, what he said is true.
Exams are coming up and I'm having a performance this Saturday.
It all spells busy, busy, busy.
But I like how it is now.
Maybe a break once in a while.
Actually my butt hurts while I'm typing this so I'll make it short. [ Don't ask. ]
I might update about the performance.
Toodles.

Till I get a break and lay myself on the grass.

Cheer 2008

*DUUSH*
Jin Yuen or Cloud. My prissy but lovable flyer.

Day 1

Woke up around 6.30 am. We were suppose to be at school by 6.30 for make-up and all. But as usual, we, Malaysians are always fashionably late. I thought I will be the last to reach school. When I reached school, it was unusually quiet. Only a few people were there. Plopped myself down on a seat, stood up again and put on my tights. The other cheerleaders in my team slowly milled in as one by one come. It was a flurry of excitement and nervousness for everyone. I'll fast-forward to when we reached the stadium. A few teams were there already. After settling down, we went and warmed out for a while till it was time for us to measure our skirts. The guys from Sri KDU, Stunners were looking at us. Just a random saying cause I remember that.

I wouldn't really want to go all long and windy about the day as I always do in my post. But the frist day was better than my second day. The whole day, I felt like I was in a bubble. Nothing out there could stop me. We were the eighth to perform. We were all jittery and all. However, once on the mat, everything changed. It's true after all. Everything changes when you're up. I did clash into Vish and my stunt group did not go up during the flower stunt because I was late. However, we were behind so it wasn’t that obvious. We continue right after that with the other three stunt teams. I fell during walk-over. I guess it's my most horrible-st tumbling. Oh, well.. I did double cartwheels instead of cartwheel, round-off but Lai Hong and I did the same so it was as though we planned. The first day was fabulous for me eventhough we had only a handful of supporters.

When Jien and the other guy announced the top 15 teams, all my team members were holding on to one another. All of us were hoping that we would be in. Jien continued down to the last two teams remaining. Nadia was already in tears, I was ready to accept the fact when suddenly our team was announced. I screamed and jumped like mad. We made the most noise. You won't know how unbelievably happy we were!

I gathered all my courage and went up to Cheng Sim. I introduced myself and told her that we were from the same kindergarten. I'm glad I did cause if I did not, I wouldn't have met a great person. And it was all thanks to Gwen who gave me all the courage. Thanks Gwennie poo...
Gwen and I were super duper hyper in the bus during the journey back to school. You won't want to know what we did. I'm tempted to post it here. I really am. But who knows what Gwen will do to me when I do that. Yikes!

Day 2

As usual, there was only a few of us in school. We had an hour practice. Since we were the 34th or 30 something team to perform, we needn't get ready that early. We decided to add one new stunt so we practiced for about an hour. The supporters left with the bus. Around 8am, we left the school. Our teachers sent us to the stadium and by the time we arrived, the stadium was packed like sardines. To be frank, the second day was horrible compared to the first day. I felt very insecure and down. I don’t have much to say except that my team did worse on the second day compared to the first day. But it’s all over now, so I’ll get on with it. Congratulations, SHIRTLIFF! You guys deserved it.

We cried after we finished performing. Two of our stunts did not get up. The crucial thing was our pyramid. It came crashing down. Total disappointment. Might as well, drop a bomb on us. Cheng Sim was awesome. She hugged me real hard, comforted me and said I did well. Her words managed to comfort me. Miss Zaireen was also there for me. She put her arms around me and told me that it was ok. I was sobbing and out of breath. Slowly, I caught up with reality.

I met Zhen Yie, from HAC and Shawn from 4.12 Revolution. It was fun meeting them after some time. I learnt a lot from everything I had been through. I’m glad I did. Sure, I do regret a few things but that’s life. There are always ups and downs. So get on with it. I did. And it feels way much better.

It's picture time. Sit in and indulge.

Mushroom head, Opps.. I mean Samuel.

Gwennie.

Lai Hong.

Gwen & Ai-vee. Thanks for coming!

Gwen. There's still glitter on my face.

Li Ean.

Yee Teng.

The professional make-up artist, Sue Jinn.

Mr. Hong. My ex-coach.

Marcus.

Mr. Chan. My gym coach & the biggest bully. =p

Thanks to everyone who supported my team and gave their wishes. You lifted our spirits up. And a very big thanks to those who comforted me when I was down and disappointed. You guys lifted my spirits up. Time's running out. I'll post again someday. I still have some pictures with Gwen. I want to soon. *demands*

Till more tears, joy, new-found friendships, mishaps, hugs and the deep passion.
Toodles.

Triggered.

Tomorrow's the DAY!
Can you believe it?
It seemed like it was just yesterday I sat at bleachers and cheered for my seniors while I controlled the music with Michelle.
And tomorrow I'm going to be the one on the mat doing what we're been practicing for months.
That totally triggered me.

I pray that everything goes well tomorrow cause there's a heavy veil of doubt obscuring my vision.
Fear eludes me. What if one of our stunts fail to go up? What if I can't be able to do my walk-over or cart-wheel round-off? What if my toe-touch doesn't go up? What if I suddenly forget my steps?
What if... I'm full of what ifs.
My body aches. My hand still hurts. But I'm still determined to do it.
On the outside, I'm cool and composed but I'm the inside I'm a turmoil of nervousness and fearfulness.
Mr. Chong said it's normal to feel this way. It means you're ready to do your best on the mat.
But it makes me wonder, is it really true? Cause what crosses my mind right now is that I'll totally forget everything, my steps, position, counting, the moves, the chants, the everything...
I've experienced it before last year during one of my performances.

The best is to not think about it right? Right? ( you better say right of I'll mash you up. =p )
The best solution is to pray hard and put my trust God and my team members.
No matter what, as long as I give my very best, I'm satisfied.
To be honest, I'm not expecting to win any awards. I know the standards. I witnessed how the other teams are. I accept the facts.

A very, very big thank you to all my friends who are supporting me for the competition and thank you for your good luck wishes.
And to Christie, thanks for being there for me when I was being emotionally unbalanced. Sorry that you had to experience it. Thanks for the very, very BIG hug. I needed it. You comforted me and cheered me up. What more could I possibly ask for?
And to my pet brother, Jeff, I would like to thank you in advanced. He agreed to treat me at ABC after the competition on Wednesday. Thanks! I'll work hard. I promise. Scouts honor! How to let you down when you have faith in me? *ponders but comes up with nothing* Don't forget to treat me cause I won't allow you to forget. =]
And to Nav and Nat too, who are going to support my cheerleading team. Thanks guys!
And to Ivan for lifting my spirits up and encouraging me to do my best tomorrow.
And to Xun Kin who was concerned about my cheerleading.
I just want to wish everyone thanks. It has been a hard week for me with so many things bombarding me at once. But thanks to God for giving me strength to keep going on and all of you guys, everything is going to be fine.

I do hope that you'll include me in your prayers. Pray that no one will get injured during the competition and that everyone will do their best tomorrow and the day after.

Lots of things are going to change after cheer. The one thing thats for sure is that I'm going to miss cheerleading and that I'm going to focus more on my quiet time with God, my studies and my guitar. I'll be keeping myself preoccupied cause that's how I like it cause...

My dinner's calling me. Time to feast. Hope to see any of you guys tomorrow.

P.S. Isn't the above picture of the girl simply marvelous? It's Virginie by the way. Name an expression, she'll do it for you in snap.

~ Kell's out.

Losing spirit.

I've been spiraling down and down for sometime now.

My mood swings are getting crazier than crazy.

I need more and more strength as each day passes to survive the next.

I haven't the mood to face any of it any longer.
The tension and awkwardness that lingers in the air is just too suffocating.
People misunderstand easily with just a simple, uncomplicated gesture.
It's getting really unbearable by the ticking second.

I just really hope I can hold on to myself.

Sometimes, I wish on a falling star.
Someday, it might come true after all....

Inspiration.

I found this video in Shawn's blog.
I met him through a church camp, Revolution 4.12.
He's a really cool kid. Friendly and all.
The jokes that he crack, absolutely makes you roll on the floor clutching your tummy.
He's dream is to an international beat-boxer and represent Malaysia in a beatbox convention in Germany Berlin.
I hope he gets to fulfill he's dream cause he's really talented and passionate in achieving his dream.

He inspires me to do what I like and not be afraid of what others may say.
I've seen him face to face, talked to him, listen to his jokes, laugh along with him and saw him performing during church camp.
So it's not like a fraud or anything cause this guy is for R-E-A-L.

Shawn and Ivan. They're best buds.
(Grabbed from somewhere)

I pray that God will be with you through everything and someday you'll achieve your dream with his help.

These are the daily bits that inspire us to go all out for what we really like and let nothing stop us. It's believing in out abilities that actually allow us to achieve it. Without trusting that we, ourselves can do it, is it possible to want what you desire? Most importantly is believing in God cause through him, we have the strength to keep on going matter how hard it is.

P.S. The Kaelan in the video goes for Kumon. Willey knows him. He did go for HAC 2007 too. What a small, small world.

~ Kell's out.

Blissful.

As most of you know, I sprained, injured, bruised and cut my hand during cheer practice.
It wasn't just once.
The first time wasn't that painful so I ignored the pain and continue training. I injured my right hand then.
The second time, it was my left hand. Both my hands were swelled and bruised.
Writing hurts. But I forced myself to continue cause of the amount of work piling.
I regretted doing so.
Boys and girls out there, DO NOT try it at home, school, field or anywhere.
Cheerleading is a dangerous sport. *note to self*

But most importantly I would like to suppress my deepest, since gratitude to all my friends and teachers who were concerned about me. You asked non-stop about what happened, advised me to be more careful, cheered up my day, cracked lame jokes, pressed my bandaged hand to feel how was it like (don't ask), shook your heads at my klutziness and many other fond little gestures to show that you care.

These are the kindred souls.

1. Christie

2. Gwen
3. Nadia
4. Sabby
5. Navian
6. Jarrel
7. Jeff
8. Jude
9. Miss Zaireen
10. Puan Norrehan
11. Pearly
12. Vicki
13. Lai Hong
14. Sara
15. Soo Jean
16. Amelia
17. Sanjiyven
18. Desmond
19. Sharba
20. Wai Kian? I think. Is it?The guy from SBU. I can't remember his name. =p
21. Yee Yan
22. Kai Yun
23. Celeste
24. Sean. (He called to ask me how I was)
25. Miow
26. Adrian
27. Kai Hoong

I'm sorry if I missed out your names. I have short-term memory loss.
There were too many of you. Each day, when someone sees my hand, they ask. And it's one after another.

Yee Yan actually scolded and lectured me.
Can you believe it? She SCOLDED me. For injuring my hand. *fighting the urge to laugh*
My mum did scold me but I can't believe Yee Yan did. Anyway, I love her for being so concern about me. *hugs long and hard*
You are a great friend to me eventhough you do scare me to pieces when I wake up in class finding you face right in front of me. That really gave me a scare, my dear friend.

This was the conversation between Puan Norrehan and me. We were having Science in the Science lab. I was walking pass her when she stopped me and looked at my hand.
PN: Eh... What happened to your hand? *concerned voice*
Me: I... erm.. injured it during cheer.
PN: *shocked expression* Does it mean you can't go for the competition?
Me: Can. It's not really that serious.
PN: Good. *relieves* Take better care of yourself.
The expression on her face was like WOW. She smiled to me after that and continued the class.

There was this guy, I can't remember his name. He's from SBU, Wei Gin's friend, choreographed the dance for Peter and his group for St. John Gathering and eats cincau plainly. He gave me two plasters when I fell and my hands bled. He put the plaster on for me and said in Cantonese that I shouldn't risk my life cause cheer competition was this week. It was sweet of him to help me. Many thanks to you. I'll try to find out what your name is again. Though I think it's something with chicken in it. I think. Or maybe not. That's me, being a blur case. Must have knocked my head while I fell.

WOW is all I managed to splutter out of my mouth for I am left speechless.

Many, many thanks. I promise to take care of myself. =]

He who has friends has everything in the world. I'll forever remain blissful.