My last update was in July. It's September now.
I'm surprised my blog's still getting pageviews. 11 as of yesterday.
It's so dead here. I can practically smell the musty smell of an abandoned room filled to brim with old, dusty books aging and abandoned, awaiting their fate.
Truth to be told, writing never has come easy for me the past few months. Not as it used to.
Much has changed since then. I don't even know
where to begin.
You never really realize how much you've changed till that very moment when you just do. It creeps up on you, without any forewarning nor a squeak till you're engulfed entirely in it.
Some of us welcome the change while others don't.
Me? At times like these, I welcome change with an open heart.
Frankly, not much has changed. But on the other hand, much has.
Those whom are close to me already know that I've changed courses. And I wouldn't say it's easier nor tougher, it's a matter of perspective.
However, I do look forward to classes now. Solely on the subject itself. (Maybe not so much on Calculus for now)
Every class I attend, I learn something new. I actually do! It's like a breath of fresh air.
I actually learn for the love of knowledge itself which is rare these days.
Sure, grades do count but this round, it feels different.
I know I still put pressure on myself to get achieve a high GCPA which wasn't really a good thing to do cause I know how pushy I can get when it comes to myself but that's not the point here.
Somehow, I feel like myself again, day by day. Edging back to my young self, where I crave for knowledge.
Like the days I spent with encyclopedias with my small physique, lugging them into the toilet (not that proud of it but it's an ideal place to read), the living room, my parents bed and my mattress.
I would be so fascinated by the diagrams and so immersed in the words that everytime I start whining to my parents or annoy them, they'll shove a book in my hands.
I remember the times I slept with books by side, my faithful companions.
Now, I get to write again for real this time.
Real, lengthy, graded essays. With interesting topics.
That needs research.
Not only that, I'm also given the opportunity to stay on A-Voice and write a feature! Definitely pleased.
Although I'm going have to turn down American Flyer this semester, where I'm asked to write 3 articles, I'm still stoked.
A-Voice is definitely the place I want to stick to for now. There's still so much for me to learn and we've gone so far as a team.
It doesn't really get better than this.
Sure, I'm definitely going to have rewrites to stay up to par with the standards and receive bounces from my editors but it's definitely worth it. Pushing myself to the limits.
At the end of the day, it's when you get published that you truly feel the joy coursing through your veins.
Meeting new people, the past week has been a little hard.
I already have a friend or two here. Somehow I wished for a fresh start. Nevertheless, the familiar faces helped too.
I haven't found a friend I can confide in yet, just casual friends. I'm sure it takes time and I'm not really pushing it.
At times, I enjoy the unbeknownst, staying unknown and just blending in till I familiarize myself. Even the solitude, I would revel in it. While other times, I crave for companionship and just laze around in the common area, mingling and taking on the mindless chatter.
This week I realize, I've begin to hope again.
I've starting to have good dreams. And nighttime ain't as bad now, without the dark, sinister dreams or the plain, dreary and tiring dreams.
That's a good reason to smile.
And I have faith that my dream that I dream, may actually be a real life occurrence. I would dearly want that to happen. It would need effort in my part to, to start reaching out.
I'd want this to be more than just a dream. If it becomes reality, I might share it here. Who knows?
I wouldn't say this is a return or a comeback for me.
Tumblr can be very therapeutical for me.
At times, I'll return and just let it all flow it.
Other times, I'll use other forms of releases.
Fate decides.
Till welcoming changes, finding yourself amidst chaos, dreams becoming reality and sturdy friendships.
Till then.
Stay afloat.
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