Moving Forward.

http://therulesofagentleman.tumblr.com

Rule No.13.

As you can see, I changed my header.

I felt like I needed to.

A spur of moment decision.

I'll change it again soon.

When I have another spur.

But till then, life goes on.

This very moment, a child hugs her mum tightly, a student looks adamantly for her misplaced homework, a brother gets in a quarrel with his siblings, a boy cries as his love turn to walk away and a little boy look up to the sky to gaze at the plethora of stars.

All occurring simultaneously.

The End.

P.S. I'm not a sexist for liking rule no. 13. So don't bring up the whole issue of woman independency or anything that relates to that. I support it whole-heartly but this is not about that.

P.P.S. If you like someone, say it. If not, stop your game. It hurts.

Stronger.

So much happened in just a few days over the last week.

I'm just overwhelmed by the all the feelings.

I felt the need to jot this down somewhere.

For it has impacted me greatly.

I felt like I was hit hard in the stomach, all wind blown out within me.

The news that you were in the hospital, lying in the ICU.

That you just had been through a major surgery.

That you weren’t awake.

I was lost for words.

I still am.

It was the last thing I was expecting.

It was never in my mind for it never even occurred to me.

I knew we weren’t the best of friends.

But we enjoyed and flourished in the company of one another.

Paving through the hard and fulfilling times together.

We hadn’t much in common but we made great conversations together.

It was just too much for me.

I was already having a bad week, with so much conflicts and misunderstandings and arguments going on simultaneously.

The news of you just topped everything there was.

If I were a dam, my walls would have broke due to the pressure.

Gallons of water would have overflown out into the dry, dying, shriveled field.

I would have flood the entire area, causing great destruction.

Suddenly I felt so tiny and minuscule, almost insignificant.

Just a speck of dust on the face of Earth.

My problems don’t matter anymore.

Because I had the chance, the opportunity, the ability to mull over them, figure them out and solve them.

You don’t.

Not from where you are right now.

I wished with all my might that I had the power to do something, to make it all better.

But I don’t.

So here I am, left helpless.

The only gift I’m able to give is a prayer from my heart to Him.

That you will wake up and be okay.

Cause deep down in my heart, I know that you will be.

I believe that you will.

Through this misfortune, I linger in the thoughts that everything that happened was a ruse, trying to teach me a great lesson.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

We were both part of God’s plans.

We all are.

I had a brief, short glimpse of what it was.

How he combined all the tragical, painful events in our lives, intervening it together.

I was on the verge of a breakdown.

But now, I know that I’m strong enough to pick myself back up again.

Instead of tripping and staying on the ground, licking my wounds and looking at the view from below.

I’m only able to give you the gift of prayer.

But everyone else is there to support and be there for you.

So will I be when you awake.

So hang in there.

You’ll be okay.

And Q, if you’re reading this, stay strong.

I know you can.

Just don’t give up hope.

And know that I believe in you.

For you'll get through this.

Just cause we're not in each others thoughts, doesn't mean we don't care for one another.

I just had to get this out. Now that it's out in the wind, I'll end here.

Steph. =]

This post is specially for Steph.

Ta-da.. The links.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ennMTzQIVmg

(Click to the middle part, the beginning is nothing)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcWSoaTl3js

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCto3inGdPQ

Enjoy. =D

Sometimes you just need to distance yourself away from people. If they care, they'll notice. If they don't, you know where you stand.

The procrastination has to stop. Effective immediately.

I'm procrastinating by writing this.

You're procrastinating by reading this.

Now we are procrastinating together.

Yay us.

Someday, you have to let it out.

I wonder if it's okay to cry over you cause we were never anything special. I just thought we could be.

(But I never did cry, instead I mourned over what we both lost.

A friend, a consoler, a somebody. )

Wish List. Sorta.

It's me!! By the beach. =]

Wish list.

Well, I've been doing this for a few years now.

I thought of letting this one go for this time.

But today, it sort of hit me.

I just had to do it.

I can't exactly pin-point the exact reason why.

Maybe cause it feels like part of a tradition?

One that I created myself thanks to a push, actually more of a shove by a friend.

And several people have asked what I wanted for the day after the next.

So here goes nothing. [It's not like anyone visits here anymore.]

This year is a little different, these items on my wish-list are items that I'll strive to get for myself throughout the year.

Or it might just be a list that I'll look back in a couple of year's time and wonder what made me thought of it.

I'll give you the answers next year when I have my answer as to which it is.

I'll start with a film camera.

I've wanted one really badly for a few years now ever since thanks to Anna for showing me the wonders of it.

Next to bokeh, I absolutely adore the light leaks.

But it was just a silly fantasy in my head to actually touch one or to have one to call mine.

Not now.

So I did some footwork and actually found a few models I liked and wanted.

I was torn between these three:

1. Nikon F series

2. Canon A series

3. Diana F+

I'm still doing some legwork to find where it's available in Malaysia, specifically in Kuala Lumpur.

I've went so far as to find out that the Diana F+ Qing Hua can be found in Pavilion. As for the Canon and Nikon, still testing out my research skills.

Next on my list are a laptop cover for my Macbook.

I was supposed to get this after my exams.

But I never got to doing it.

SNOW GLOBES.

Amazing dainty things.

Magic sealed in a sphere.

That's how I picture them anyway.

The rest I'm going to put into an actual list since I'm running out of time.

* Accessories. A girl can never have too much. XD

* An Iphone dock speaker thing. I can stop using my earphones then.

* Anything with an underwater, marine theme? Gosh, I sound like a kid. =p

* A day with all my close friends? I really want this since everyone is just too busy these days.

I ran out of ideas.

Actually I stopped thinking.

I've used too much brain juice.

Figures.

So I'm going to present you an image of none other than moiself. =D

Even though the image is totally out of focus, I love it.

It's just natural. My cousin took it while I turned to look at her when she called my name.

I wasn't stressed or worried.

I was just being me.

And this image gives me the feeling of how an old dear friend look like after several years.

Hazy but crystal clear at the same time

An image imprinted in your memory.

Since I doubt anyone will read this as this most of you guys already signed this blog off as dead, I might as well stop rambling.

If you do read it however, Happy End of the Very Short Holidays.

Hope you had a great time.

And do visit here whenever you feel like it.

P.S. Hopefully I'll be back soon.

P.P.S. I still have pictures of myself doing cartwheels by the beach with both my legs in the air. =D